Can someone piss on this one. It should be really funny. Alien Hunter 23:32, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
Sycamore is pissing on your article--— SirSycamore (talk) 08:52, 17 May 2008 (UTC)
A little on the short side, I like the concept of the eco brigade being snuffed out by the economic profits of space travel. I think you could turn this into a more left/right wing opposition as it would make it a lot funnier. Perhaps somehow Iraq could also be brought in to add to the humour. Some more of George Bush might also add to your piece, similarly you could broaden the countries involved, particularly Russia as it is a relevant competitor to the current Oil situation and this could add to the humour of the article. Again Al Gore might be a figure to sideline a little in the article, as he’s a bit old hat. He has generally fallen outside of mainstream thought and there are more pressing concerns amougst foreign leaders such as the economy which could be bought in to make the article more relevent.
Pretty good - When it's finished it'll be a solid contribution to UnNews. I think that it could be filled out in terms of actually harvesting the Oil on Jupiter; there could be a lot of humour fact by binging up the fact that the Americans would not be able to build their own spacecraft without China, etc. This would fill out the idea a lot more and make the piece a lot more interesting as well as funny. It could be a lot longer and the current lengths leave readers filling in the gaps.
Prose and formatting:
Looks very messy and needs a bit of a tidy up, more needs to be added about Titan and the expedition as well as the political humour you're using. The use of Caps looks really bad and should probably go. You could also use Notes/references for the direct quotes you're using which would add to some sense of realism