Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:New Superman movie to be more realistic

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edit UnNews:New Superman movie to be more realistic 01:31, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

This article is under review by
Gerry Cheevers.

Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!!
Humour: 4 okay, you start off with a giant, winded, confusing sentence with a little too much hate. if your whole angle is going to be 'superman sucked' then you probably won't get many smiles, nevermind laughs. the last sentence in the first paragraph confuses me (you mean 'albeit'? is the film in black and white or not?). the second paragraph continues the hate, as you pour it on fairly thick with the quote from the studio exec. you can make the point of 'superman sucked' much better by employing subtlety, deadpan humor, etc. your third paragraph was much better, since it related to your headline and had a clear theme, and dispensed with bashing the movie. the paragraph with the review quotes was hit or miss, i thought the blogger one was good and the other one too, but the ebert one was kind of weak. the ending had a good idea but it wasn't flushed out properly. i'd like to see an interview with one down-to-earth person who wonders why superman has to be realistic.
Concept: 6 5/5 points for a well-known subject worthy of parody. okay, the last superman was pretty bad, and trying to make it more 'realistic' like batman tickels my funny button (because that is absurd).

1/5 points for execution - i feel like you could go about this in a better way. stop just hating on it directly and bring up specific things that were too unrealistic, and continue to provide examples (like the third paragraph) of superman's now-normal powers.

Prose and formatting: 5 the prose was pretty terrible, i'll give you a proofread, but some of it i couldn't even make out. the formatting was fine i guess.
Images: 0 no images! go with the superman poster, and then maybe superman doing something normal, or the 'new' superman you described.
Miscellaneous: 3.8 averaged
Final Score: 18.8 this has a solid concept behind it, but i'm afraid it needs a considerable amount of work. i do hope that you will seek to improve this article. i suggest scrapping the first two paragraphs and focusing more on the specific things that make superman normal in the upcoming film; staying on-target to your subject helps flow and general goodness. any questions you have can be left on my talkpage. good luck!
Reviewer: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 21:46, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
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