Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Microsoft finds problem with font folder, urges people to delete it

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edit UnNews:Microsoft finds problem with font folder, urges people to delete it

Just something I came up with while on IRC. Any thoughts / suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 00:28, 19 December 2008 (UTC)

Concept: 4.5 The article comes as across as too attacky, bombastic, and blunt. Like most unNews articles, this one reads too much like a one liner stretched out for 2.5 - 3 kilobytes. I have seen worse; this article does attempt to start out deadpan and go more outlandish from there, but it doesn't come off too well. I think the main problem is the premise is way to bombastic and exaggerated for it to work good. Excessive & unwarranted hyperbole tends to turn off the reader, as does too much attackiness. It makes it sound the author is ranting and raving because he likes to rant, rave, and complain, not because the subject matter deserves such a rant or the rant itself is funny.

You could try to change the perspective of the article, for example, have it be a press Micro$oft that "accidentally" insults itself. Also, you'll probably need to tone down the premise, making the intentions of Micro$oft a bit less evil.
Prose and Formatting: 6.5 I don't see any major formatting errors. However, you should probably add a list of sources at the end, in case the reader doesn't know about the recent security problems in internet explorer.
Images: 5 The image is far too cliche. If you had something like a split screen showing hacked fonts versus regular fonts, it might more humorous.
Humour: 4 Basically, what I said in the concept section. The article is too attacky, bombastic, and blunt. Also, the article is quite short, only 2.7 kilobytes. It needs more fleshing out and more ideas in the article.
Improvability Score: 5.5 This article should age relatively well for an unNews article. Although it is a parody of the defects with internet explorer, it does not depend on that news story for its existence, and Microsoft will be in news again for a similar problem eventually.
Final Score: 25.5 I have the feeling might be judging unNews too harshly. However, I am holding unNews articles to the same standards that I am hold mainspace articles to, and I do tend to give out low scores. It seems that most unNews articles are one-liners stretched out to stub length, and many tend to be based on one-liners that aren't that good to begin with. In some my recent reviews of unNews articles, I have compared the humor to taking "one idea and bludgeon[ing] the hell out of it". Either I'm not "getting" the unNews, unNews articles are supposed to be less thorough than mainspace articles, or people are just writing bad unNews. Now, there are some unNews articles that I have found funny, like UnNews:Kenneth_Starr_vows_to_investigate_Obama_sex_scandal. But I digress.
Reviewer: --Mnbvcxz 04:36, 21 December 2008 (UTC)
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