Yeah, yeah, another Pee Review Article, I am trying to be a better UnNews writer, cut me some slack already. ----Mgr.SirSonic80☭ 06:55, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
Actually if you look at the mouseover text for the Snake smoking image on the original site you'll read "Snake teaches you to become addicted to cigarettes by smoking for 15 minutes every hour. Here the player has 2 minutes left." So that's not original either. Piperpipeington 15:22, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
Okay, so obviously you see that I just gave you a 1 here. That's not because the article isn't at all funny. If this existed in a vacuum - if objectiveministries.org didn't exist - I'd probably give it about a 7. There are some good chuckles in there! The reason I'm giving this a 1 is that I consider it borderline plagiarism. Objectiveministries.org is a satire website that pokes fun at fundamentalist Christians by pretending to be fundamentalist Christians, only crazier. The "source" article from that site is hilarious. But this UnNews article is simply pointing out that the source told a funny joke - and it just doesn't have the same punchy "hysterical fundamentalist" flavor of the original. There's even a part where this article directly quotes its source, which falls into the "non-borderline plagiarism" category. But as a general rule, you can't write an UnNews just by "reporting" on a pre-existing joke - even if you paraphrase and reword the source, the article is still taking credit for someone else's comedy.
In fairness, the original jokes about the "15-minute break" are pretty funny. I thought "Snake teaches children hooked on the game to smoke for 15 minutes every hour" was hilarious - I just sat through that boot-up sequence last week, and I didn't put two and two together like that, that Snake could very easily be seen as encouraging kids to smoke - for 20% of their entire playing time! Sadly, I'm going to have to take this over to VFD and ask that it be huffed - but I think you should take the picture and the last sentence and migrate them over to a new article like "UnNews: Japanese Game Designers Care About Your Health."
1, for the same reasons as stated above. There are plenty of ways to say "Hey, look at this hilarious website I just found"; resubmitting it as original work is not one of them.
Prose and formatting:
The prose is pretty good; it's solidly journalistic. The only problem is (as I mentioned before) that it's funnier to satirize fundamentalists by using a fundamentalist's voice than by using a reporter's voice. It's funnier when people say something stupid and unintentionally make fun of themselves than when a reporter says "Whoa, these people are stupid." Objectiveministries.org got it right the first time around.
The image, along with its caption, is the only real original joke in the piece - and it's actually a damn good one. Well, "original joke" is a bit borderline, since objectiveministries did say that Snake teaches players how to smoke. But combining it with the "15-minute break" advice is apparently original, and it makes it into a much better joke, so I think we can give you credit for it.
Sadly, I really think Uncyclopedia needs to delete this article - we've already had problems with a user (I forgot who) who was submitting Onion articles to UnNews, and we just don't need a reputation as plagiarists on top of our already questionable reputation as a weird Oscar Wilde cult.
I'd like to see you take a stab at writing an UnNews centered around the smoking joke, but that's up to you. Maybe you didn't realize that objectiveministries.org is a joke site; I don't know. I'm not here to assign blame. But let's get rid of this article ASAP and move on. Good luck!