Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Marilyn Manson performs fellatio, claims "it was strictly business"

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edit UnNews:Marilyn Manson performs fellatio, claims "it was strictly business"

I'm trying to be an eclectic and varied writer, ergo this is my first UnNews attempt, so don't be harsh now :P User:Fag/sig

Humour: 8 Well "Graham Norton Uncut" is a great name for the show. I can't believe he does not really use that (does he?). The concept did make me giggle a little, but it's bin done before (see below). It's really just funny over all, rather than having any particularly funny one liners. I think a man (woman) of your oral skills can do better than this.
Concept: 7 Well, I'm only giving yew a 7 cos this all looks rather similar to a full article which I have seen recently which kinda did this joke in much more detail. I have been trying to find the dam thing for about 5 mins now, but I'm buggered if I can. That was not a pun Mr Fag... It was called "Men so confident in their sexuality that their not afraid to sleep with other men" or something like that, but hell if I can find it.

"Manson to fellate him, "in a non-gay way"" should have link to the above article I think.

Prose and formatting: 7 "notes being written - but obviously not acted out - by despondent fans" might work better as "notes being written (but obviously not acted out by despondent fans)". I noticed that you have not used many links to other articles here. Is there a reason for this? Surely this is a great place to use some quality double entendre?

The prose is only OK. For UN news it really has to be perfect for it to work. There are a few grammar errors (I think), and the flow of the story does not quite look to me how a real reporter would have written it. Try to muster you best most perfect writing. Your going to need it to cut the mustard here.

Images: 4 Well it did not really add much to things. Really just a normal pic of Mr M. How about a pic of him with a girl, and quote saying something like "Mr Manson being less controversial" or something along those lines??
Miscellaneous: 6.5 Averaged per ({Pee|8|7|7|4}}
Final Score: 32.5 I have not reviewed an UN-News before, so I'm not really sure how to handle the fact that this is so short. I think yew can probably get the concept to cum out a little more which I'm sure will not be a problem you the likes of yew. Maybe just a little longer. That extra inch might make all the difference. ;)
Reviewer: MrN Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png WhoreMrn.png Fork you! 13:59, Dec 12
*coughcoughhackvomitcoughhackhackbleed* Sig_pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 21:42, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
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