Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Man suffers caffeine underdose

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edit UnNews:Man suffers caffeine underdose

Thaught id put this ina peee and see so aim nice mkay!

Sir ACROLO KUNFPWAOTMFA •(SPAM) 22:17, 10 July 2009 (UTC)

I'm in here, m'kay Pup TIME 07:35, 16/07/2009
Prose and

The writing style,
spelling, grammar,
layout and overall
9 Oh this really gets my goat. I mean seriously I'm sitting down here to do a PEEReview, and you know what, I'm out of coffee. So I figure I'm going to let this poor sucker have it, both barrels, right between the eyes. So I firstly go through and read the article on a brief level, andf then I get into the nitty-gritty with my spelling and grammar tools. I start looking at it and, you know what, there are no issues!

I mean seriously, I could be a complete stickler and complain about the use of "gots", "aint", "Ahhhh", and "flavored", but then I realise that as this is in a US conversational style, not only does he get away with this, but it suit's the bleeding article!

So what am I going to do, unless I can find a fault I'm going to have to give a perfect score. I mean I could kvetch about the layout, but firstly a) I don't know enough Yiddish to kvetch, and b) It's not a bad layout, I'd just prefer to have the images on the right and the text on the left, as it's easier on the eye when reading it. But that's just being picky. I really...

Hang on a second. The author has written "Die motherfuckers!" without a comma. Let me just get my Elements of style. YES! You are losing a point for that, sonny!

How good an idea
is behind the article?
9 Concept! What kind of concept is this torture of individuals who are suffering from caffeine withdrawal. Is it smart, snappy and funny. Damn, it is!
How funny is it?
Why is it funny?
How can it be funnier?
9 What do you think it is funny to poke fun at something that fits in with the classic definition of comedy.
Comedy is truth plus pain.

First you have the truth aspect. Is this something that everyone can relate to? Well, if by everyone you mean the overwhelming majority of the civilised world then yeah, I guess that definition does fly. But if a Kalahari bushman was taught how to read and write English enough to be able to understand the sense of humour but still had not been exposed to coffee, then would he understand it? Hell no!

Secondly the pain. Is the concept of an individual suffering from caffeine withdrawal something that can be related to as a painful experience? Yes. Oh, my everloving eternal God, YES!

Is this a punchy article, a beautiful build up and a good sharp punch-line? YES.

Will I give it a 10 as there's no fault that can be seen in the concept? NO! And why is that? Because I haven't had any coffee.

How are the images?
Are they relevant,
with good quality
and formatting?
8 Ah-ha, the first image is not an original, or at least is not an original concept. It also gives the look of somebody wired from too much coffee, not angry from a lack of coffee. Does it suit the tone of the article? Yes! But is it the most suitable image? NO! Fantastic, I have something to criticise.

And the second image. Is it near perfect in the look and the feel of it, and is the concept good. Yes, but wait, have a closer look at the tie. Has it been badly potatochopped into the image? YES! I can see a jagged edge and white pixellation on the side! I have a second thing to criticise

The article's overall
quality - that indefinable
9.5 So given that I have had very little to criticise about this article so far and I think it is a definite VFH contender, am I going to give it a perfect score in any areas her at all? No! And why not? Because I still haven't had my mother loving coffee yet!
Final Score:
How much can it be
improved and what
are the most important
areas to work on.
44.5 So what should the author do from here? Firstly I'd suggest that they fix up the minor, minor issues that I mentioned above. Then I'd sit back and wait for someone to nominate this as a featured article.


Reviewer: Pup TIME 08:08, 16/07/2009
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