Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Make-up addict predicts husband will turn into Quasimodo

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edit UnNews:Make-up addict predicts husband will turn into Quasimodo

This is about as topical as my little brain can manage. Geoffprickett 15:40, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 5 Since this is an UnNews, I'm not going to break it down here, but I didn't really see the humor in it. I see the concept: I see how that would work. The problem is, she's just complaining about her husband. While this can work, try and keep it down a little, and expand on other parts of the article. For example, you mentioned a really bad plastic surgeon: maybe talk about him. Give him a name, have a quote from him. Talk about him a little. Also, I'm not firmly established in this joke you're making; while I can figure it out, it's not as funny without some sort of clear background. Explain who you're talking about. Give me maybe one other picture, featuring the two people you're talking about together. Illustrate to me why this is funny, and I'll enjoy it.
Concept: 7 I think you can work with this, as I've explained above. It's a good idea, just make sure to focus on being funny and not complaining. Women being catty isn't too funny. Unless it's Sex in the City, in which case, it's definitely not funny.
Prose and formatting: 6 Funny bits. I'll probably go through and fix 'em for you when I'm done with this review, and then you can ignore this score. Still, check other articles for grammar usage with news stories; it's tricky occasionally.
Images: 7 I like the image you have; it definitely works. Maybe the caption could be retooled a little bit, though, it's a little bit awkward to decipher. However, as I mentioned before, give me a picture of the couple in question so that I understand, even if I have no experience in the matter.
Miscellaneous: 7 It's the mode!
Final Score: 32 Expand, expand, expand. You've got room here to do it. Flesh out the story and make sure everyone can get it. Also, the title doesn't really fit with the article: shouldn't it be something more like "Make-up addict wants husband to turn into Quasimodo"? I'm not sure. That's how the rest of it reads. Anywho, not bad for your first UnNews. Keep it up.
Reviewer: --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey Pant-hoot here. 21:28, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
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