There were a few "smile moments", but not many. The quote from the NASA official is very funny, it has exactly the right note of bureaucratic gloating. However, your other quotes (often the strong point of an UnNews article) don't necessarily show the character of the person being quoted. A lot of the other jokes fall completely flat, often due to repetition. For example, you beat the reader over the head pretty mercilessly with the point that the scientists are evil - lay off a little bit! At the very least, find more subtle ways to show the evil.
Topical, and a rich mine for ideas. You probably beat a lot of people to the punch in writing about this!
Prose and formatting:
Neat, tidy, and easy to read - you passed your literacy test! Seriously though, outside of possibly making your quotes more obvious, this was flawless formatting.
Just one image, but it was all the article needed. Bit unremarkble though.
If I wasn't reviewing this article, I'd probably have already forgotten about it. You're only falling down in one area, but it's the key one, humour.
You've got the knack for writing UnNews, the dry journalistic tone that permeates most of the strongest UnNews reports. You also have an eye for subject material. But don't be afraid of your gags! And if you're going to quote a fictional character, make sure you know that character's "voice" first.