Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Ick, broccoli for dinner, AGAIN!

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edit UnNews:Ick, broccoli for dinner, AGAIN!

Not one of mine, but I found this in Recent Changes, loved it, and touched it up. I think it deserves recognition; let's see what y'all think. --Andorin Kato 05:55, 10 November 2007 (UTC)

UnNews:Ick, broccoli for dinner, AGAIN!
is being reviewed by
CajekHi!
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I fixed up the page a little, so this score is based on the page afterwards.   Le Cejak <-> 11:37, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
Humour: 7 avg of all paragraphs
  • P1 (first sentence + first paragraph) (8)

above average introduction, and I like where this is going.

  • P2 (7)

This section is dry but interesting. I like interesting, but I wish it had funny in it, too.

  • P3 (third paragrph + last sentence) (6)

Well, the broccoli has turned slightly stale. It's not as over-the-top as I wish it had been.

Concept: 8 Good concept (a kid at a dinner table complaining about broccoli), however it does not exaggerate the situation enough. It just kinda sits there, tells a little story, and then falls asleep.
Prose and formatting: 5 Adequate formatting after I fixed it up. It had 4 templates on the same page! However, it's really too short for honors.
Images: 7 The pictures are adequate.
Miscellaneous: 6.8 avg of all your other scores.
Final Score: 33.8 Try to lengthen this article. Keep going with having a narrator, but I want it to really sell the idea that broccoli is the worst thing ever.
Reviewer:   Le Cejak <-> 11:49, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
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