Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:I have taken hostages

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edit UnNews:I have taken hostages

-- scanty Ape (deter) (Riot Porn) 20:20, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

UnNews:I have taken hostages
is being reviewed by
CajekHi!
Your Source for Fine Scented Pee
And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him

It's me, that guy.   Le Cejak <20:23, 08 Aug 2008>

Humour: 8 avg of your "sections" if you know what I mean (NOTE: 7 = AVERAGE SCORE)
  1. Intro paragraph -9- That first paragraph got a giggle, except you should probably start a new sentence at "I'm not telling you..." Pretty good introduction: a journalist taking hostages? That is teh funneh.
  2. Before the "thunk" -8- Good second paragraph too. So far, so good, Ape! Not as powerful as the first paragraph, but still good. You repeat the phrase "execute some hostages" once too often, though. Try to think of a euphamism or synonym for that. No homonyms though: that's against God's word.
  3. Post-"thunk" -7- The ending was interesting, and still held my attention, but it felt kind of abrupt. I would've enjoyed it more if it continued for a while. Good article, though!
Concept: 8 Very nice! Wish I had thought of it, myself! The problem is that it's too short. Why did he hold up the Japanese embassy, for instance? Maybe you should be like a real terrorist and describe some of the hostages to the "police" or whoever is reading your article on a humorwiki? One thing you could do is go on and on about how this isn't a joke even though it's posted on a humor wiki? Are you sick of working for UnNews without any recognition? Just how crazy is this reporter that's taken hostages? If you did all that, you'd have this article in the bag.
Prose and formatting: 7 It's not Shakespeare, and there WAS a mistake, so it's not above-average per se.
Images: 7 It's a picture
Miscellaneous: 7.5 avg'd via {{Pee}}
Final Score: 37.5 I want to review this when it's expanded. As it is: too short. Hope you enjoyed my review, Ape!
Reviewer:   Le Cejak <20:39, 08 Aug 2008>
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