Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Getting oiled-up fails to make seabird more attractive to females
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Don't bother pointing out that its short.
--23:42, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
|Fear Not! John Lydon|
is here to Pee all over you!
I got this one. --—John Lydon 14:36, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||8||I usually try to break articles down section by section but since this article is only a couple of paragraphs long, I'll give it you all in one shot.
I know you didn't want any comments on the length but I think it works really well here. It gives your article the feel of one of those human interest pieces that get tucked away on the third page of your local paper. I really tried to come up with another angle where you could expand but I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't ruin the flow of the article. I think that what you have written is very well done. It comes off feeling like an authentic news article and that's whats most important.
I also liked the angle you took with the Oil spill here. One of the hardest things I can think of to do is get people to laugh at a tragedy without being offensive. You did a great job of doing just that. I really don't have a lot of suggestions on how to improve the humor level of this piece. The only possible angle I would have liked to have seen explored is maybe adding a coment or two from some female pelicans on their thoughts about the male pelicans new look. So we could know why they didn't like it.
|Concept:||9||I thought the way you approached this subject was outstanding. You really did a fantastic job of covering the who, what, when, where, and whys of this story. Again, length is not really an issue here in my opinion. Other than the suggestion given above, I couldn't come up with any ideas on how to expand the article without ruining it.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||Really felt like a human interest piece from the local paper. Very well done. You managed to stay away from injecting personal opinion and stayed on topic. I couldn't find any spelling or grammer errors either. I must have read this article at least 50 times, so I think I would have found them if they were in there.|
|Images:||7||The image, while not fall out funny itself, fits perfectly into the article. The caption fits well too. Once again, you did a good job of retaining that news article vibe here.|
|Final Score:||38.8||I think you did a fantastic job of creating a humorous article that feels like an authentic newspaper piece. So many times, authors attempt to write everything as if it is groundshaking, front page, headline news. I think that style would have ruined your idea and was glad to see you approached this as kind of filler material for the back pages. It makes the article work really well.|
|Reviewer:||--—John Lydon 11:46, June 17, 2010 (UTC)|