Second article, a bit better hopefully.
Erock199 18:57, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
I think there is some great potential and I really enjoy your witty and sarcastic comments, but I feel it could use some more spice. Throw some more randomness into it, make it more silly or ridiculous,Be cautions of the very thin line between humor and stupidity, but get more creative with what goes on. Everyone knows donkeys kick why not have him sexually assault someone
I like the concept and it could go somewhere, but change the story, a donkey kicking someone is boring.
Prose and formatting:
Looks like a real news wiki article
My computer cant load images, but I would recommend adding another
Overall I think it has potential, but at the moment, you could take away a few dumb tourists and it could be a real story. Add a spark, some randomness, something abnormal. I think it could something very funny! Good luck!