I was almost the first VFD contest participant to place an article on PR, then Guildy had to go on and be a dick. Still, review. It's the first thing I've written in a long time. Would you like a cookie,sir? 14:54,28June,2010
...what about the score? Anyways, it was quite humorous, i mean it could have been way funnier but it does give some laughs. The irony is that a seemingly straight guy wants to get it up the butt from an alien...
Good concept, with one like this it really can't go wrong.
Prose and formatting:
Here's what screwed you man (haha screwed...talking bout anal...o.k not funny). The thing is your supposed to be writing journals. There are many things you could have done to make this article really awesome. 1. Lay off the swearing a bit, a little adds emphasis, too much just kills it. 2. Add a creative font. ITS A JOURNAL! You could have used a non-wiki font or at least have put it on a slant like this. 3. Make it a book. It's hard to do, but if you did it would be perfect. Something along the lines of this, with one page per...page. Again way harder but way better.
This one also hurt you. Nothing interesting. Of course, thank you for not showing a swore butt-hole, that would have been disturbing.
I do like how you put the date's and times and took advantage. I do not however, like the deformed pet rat joke...it was simply too obvious
Good work, it's funny and you can tell you put some time into it. I'm not gonna say "it has potential" because it doesn't, im just kidding yah, it's cause im getting sick of seeing that line on every god damn review!