Thanks a bundle.
Nameable 20:14, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
More bad than good here it seems. The article really isn't coherent at all. A lot of jokes aren't funny; the ones that are sometimes seem unrelated. There are some good things here. The end of the "Competition" section (i.e. everyone voted for "Neville Bares All") is somewhat funny. The "Nike" part, while it seems thrown in, is quite clever. If it was somewhat incorporated better, it could be hilarious. I don't really think it has a place in this article, though. The "Naples Street" part is also pretty funny, as is the other "Nike" reference. However, there is very little funny and mostly just nonsense, if I'm gonna be honest.
I don't like the idea, really, and can't see how you can squeeze much humor out of it. There's not much else to say. It could be a good commentary on consumerism (bringing up again the "Nike" jokes, and how the "fans" will buy anything), but it doesn't seem so right now.
Prose and formatting:
Not much problems with the prose itself, but the whole "Plot" section is horrific just in terms of that kind of stuff, and being funny overall. It just seems random; like you didn't spend much time on it at all.
There's only one image. It has some potential to be somewhat funny, but it's a sloppy chop-job. It's not good. Get rid of it, add more images, whatever.
Okay, this could be funny, and in some parts, it somewhat is. But it really lacks coherence and I don't think you can squeeze that much funny out of this idea. There are some funny concepts. Keep working!