Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnBooks:Time Magazine(Dec 20, 2012) (2)

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edit UnBooks:Time Magazine(Dec 20, 2012)

I saw this article and also saw some stuff that I wanted to improve, but I can't actually edit the content of the pages. So I decided I'd write a Pee Review of it instead... Some Idiot Image002 06:36, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Humour: 8.5 Before I say anything at all – change the title of the article! It is “UnBooks:Time Magazine(Dec 20, 2012)’’ when it should be “UnBooks:Time Magazine (Dec 20, 2012)’’. This is very important. Now, onto the actual article…

This is great! Heaps of good humor, and this is not counting the running joke, which is the fact that the article is set when the earth is going to end. This is always a great subject and you fitted all manner of humor into it. However, improvements can be made. Here are my suggestions. I'll go through each double page and give you some tips and comments.

  • Front Cover and Contents: Actually, nothing to improve here in the way of humor.
  • Next Two Pages: These two pages are in the very same context and are quite good. However the humor is kind of ruined a little by bad spelling and grammar.
  • Ad and Mayans Article: Good ad, ruined by the bad, blurry picture however. I’m kind of disappointed that your feature article in the magazine is half a page long. Can you expand it? I also think it not written very well as a magazine article.
  • Next Two Ads: Very good. Nothing to improve on in the subject of humor.
  • Religion Dartboard: Ha! Very good.
  • Letters and Blank Page: Very good letters. However you have the space to add another, or even two more, and this way it may solve the problem of the big blank spaces.
  • Subscription Page: Nice, every magazine needs one of these. But is there a catch? Like, the ‘tiny writing at the bottom’? You know , maybe it’s actually a matchbox car, or it’s delivered in 350 separate pieces?
  • Back Pages: Still nothing to report in the way of humor, very good here.

To sum it up, your humor is pretty much fine. However there are a few problems on formatting that have dulled your humor and also put down the quality of your article by a notch pr so.

Concept: 10 You know what? I’ve never given a ten before – in all the reviews I’ve done. But this concept is fantastic! A magazine set in 2012, when the end of the world is coming – and you did it really, really well. You did everything you could with it. The articles in the actual magazine were a bit short but it was awesome anyway. One thing I would of liked to see, however, was a little one or two page guide on ‘Surviving the Apocalypse’, somewhat similar to your religion dartboard. Because that’s the kind of thing apocalpse believers want to read, isn’t it?
Prose and formatting: 8 Of course, this article looks pretty awesome, in the layout of a magazine. However there are quite a few instances that look pretty ugly and if you use my advice well this will definitely (and I say DEFINITELY) go up to ten. I’m going to go through each page like I did in the humor section, with formatting comments. First of all, though, I want to make a point that will help it heaps – you may need to make the actual size of the pages larger and all the stuff smaller so it doesn’t feel so cramped.
  • Front Cover and Contents: Very good front cover. However, there are few problems with the bottom bar. Either make it taller to accommodate the beer picture, or make the beer picture smaller. The index/contents was also very good. However, you put the middle finger in twice. Keep either of them but delete the other.
  • Next Two Pages: The editor’s message is a bit cramped, but resizing the pages will help with this. Both pages have quite a few spelling mistakes (Al’keda is spelt Al'Qaeda) and these should definitely be fixed.
  • Ad and Mayans Article: More problems that will be fixed by enlarging pages. You need to add more commas on the Mayan article. Also, you need a better image for the Rolex ad, which is very blurry.
  • Next Two Ads: First page has good formatting. Second needs some work. You need to completely surround the writing (except maybe for the top) with the insurance logos, because what you’ve done here is a little ugly. I know the picture here is pretty funny, but maybe you could relate to the end of the world theme? “Family destroyed in asteroid impact” or something.
  • Religion Dartboard: First page good, second page cramped but will improve with the enlargement of the pages.
  • Letters and Blank Page: Blank page doesn’t look bad. Once again, the cramped look of the reader’s comments will improve by page enlargement. However, what’s that picture of the bottle and the oval doing in the bottom section? I don’t understand.
  • Subscription Page: Needs to be super-enlargened so it spans the width of two pages. Picture of car and other issue needs o be moved up a little so they aren’t touching the bottom of the page.
  • Back Pages: Good and good. However maybe you should add “Vodka so good it brought on the apocalypse” or something.
Images: 8 Not all of your images were overly funny but fitted in well with your article so I can’t give you a bad score. There are few nifty things to fix but I've detailed them in the humor section.
Miscellaneous: 8.75 Averaged your scores using my on-computer calculator (I mean, how convenient are those things?).
Final Score: 43.25 This is a great article. Of course, you still need a little bit of work on the formatting of the stuff on the pages, but after that I think it should go up on VFH. That's all I really want to say here and wish it luck onto the front page.
Reviewer: --Some Idiot Image002 06:36, August 12, 2010 (UTC)

Slap this on the article talk page so that anyone who edits it regularly will see it Just copy and paste the Pee review table over there. --ChiefjusticePS3 06:18, August 14, 2010 (UTC)

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