Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnBooks:The sockpuppet who Cried GAY GAY GAY
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While I don't have a picture yet, I have a request at UN:PIC. In the mean time, I'd love suggestions for improvement. I'm also getting an audio recorded -- 18:28, 23 December 2007 (UTC)
- Merry Christmas. I'll review this baby. Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 08:07, 25 December 2007 (UTC)
|Humour:||5||Unfortunately, this article doesn't stand on its own very well. This article merely details a series of events, which is not funny in its present form.
Since you used Verdict several times, it makes me think that this article might be funnier if instead of being an Uncyclopedia history, you make it a sort of courtroom drama. There could be several cases, where lotsofLOLS and his socks present the defense, labeled as Defense, and then Uncyclopedia users, the Prosecution, rip apart their arguments. Then, the judge rules. You might have forensic episodes, where some other Uncyclopedia users act as detectives and present evidence to the court. If you go this route, a name change is certainly in order.
Or you could further expand it as a history text. Add more details. Do more research. Expand it to be an accurate account. It probably wouldn't be as funny, though.
Or you could pursue a third option of your own making that turns out more brilliant than the other two. But really, choose something other than what you have in the article right now.
|Concept:||4||As it stands right now, this could be a part of the Uncyclopedia history text. It's boring, it's dry, and it doesn't really seem like an UnBook. See the humor section for ideas. I put most of the stuff up there that should really be down here, because this article is flawed in primarily concept and approach. You need new ones of both.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||I have no serious problems with your prose or your formatting. Seeing as how you have the proofread tag up on there, I'm sure it will be fine.|
|Images:||10||No images, and by default, a ten. The guidelines say to give a ten for no images, but then many people just give zeros. I'm confused on this issue. These comments have no relevance to you.
The images you decide to put in the article depend on what direction you want to go, so you're mostly on your own in this regard.
|Miscellaneous:||6.8||I despise this section. I wish it a lump of coal this Christmas.|
|Final Score:||33.8||Take a different approach with this article. LotsofLOLS and his repeated attempts at removal of his article was damned annoying, so just a history of these events is not sufficient for an article.|
|Reviewer:||Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 08:53, 25 December 2007 (UTC)|