Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnBooks:My Last Name is a Woman's First Name

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edit UnBooks:My Last Name is a Woman's First Name

This is more of a direct parody of James Joyce and pretentious literature, unlike my Winnegans Fake, which merely borrowed a title from him. I have tried to characterise Jamus rather than turn him into a stereotype. But I know I'm going to get it in the neck about the formatting, which I think will be the divisive part of this article. Knucmo2 19:50, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

I'll review this, for now enjoy Noel with this free coupon. — Sir Sycamore (talk) 16:22, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
Fielding
A Free Coupon
For a bumming session with Noel Fielding
Humour: 6.5 Good stuff here, the way you've written it is inventive, but possibly a little ineffective.

I would say there’s an issue with accessibility here, the foot notes make it very hard to read on a computer screen which is a problem. I like the way your parodied a complex topic here, and this is a good thing indeed, I think it seems a little closed and overall a little short, I think more on the first section expansion wise would help a great deal. The quotes and Adorno template a little iffy in my book - if you want to add themes of postmodernism/Frankfurt School maybe add it into the text rather than templates.

Overall more witty that gut bursting - this is not a bad thing, i think that it does limit it's appeal, but overall very good - Its a little difficult for me to sugeest drastic changes in content as it feels pretty short, and this affects how a reader can "get into and article" - a longer piece that flows form section to section will by it's nature probve more appealing - a satire of someone who through out the maunal on these thins is a difficult place to go. Overall good - but accesible and funny for a wider audience I would say that currantly this is lacking a bit

Concept: 6.6 Great concept reminds me of David Foster Wallace which I reviewed a few weeks ago and I liked that, and I like this one, I would say as I said with the Wallace article that it would be a good idea to expand the into sections and make the footnotes a lot terser and shorter - on a computer screed they don't work as well as perhaps in print. Good idea here and another piece of great stuff from yourself. I doubt it would be featured though - This could change though with less emphasis on the footnotes - maybe make the actual mock novel a bit longer?
Prose and formatting: 6 The first section reads well with plenty of links for flids like me - The formatting as I said could do with a look, I think its holding it back the article a little. I did not see any spelling or grammatical errors and its well written throughout, on of the things I’m a little hazy on is the possibility that you might be going a bit overboard on the name dropping - for example the Nabokov, Beckett and Aquinas references seem a little bit tacked on, I may just be ignorant though.

As I also mention the template looks a little ugly as well as the quotes, - maybe have just one quote, The nicequotes are arguably the least intrusive and don't break the flow of an article:

Pure drivel. I’ve written Post-It Notes that had more literary value than this.

~ Herbert Marcuse on My Last Name is a Woman’s First Name
Images: 6.5 One, fits well and the caption also fits, witty and good - with expansion of the article another will probably need to be added, plenty of pictures of Joyce on the sight and on search engines though. No gripes on this area of things
Miscellaneous: 6.85 Decent and good stuff throughout - I think it just needs more time in your capable hands and a little more expansion and reduction in the right areas, specifically the decrease of footnotes and the increase of the article sections. I'm afraid my ignorance is proabably tainting the review, i often add links within articles to exteranl one to that make it more accessbile for readers unfamilair wiht the topic, i know that you can get free online editions of Joyces work here and also wikipedia links - you can link to a specific real example link with this: Template:Wikipediapar
Final Score: 32.45 I hope I have been helpful, should you have any questions or queries, do not hesitate to leave a note on my talkpage:)
Reviewer: Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:01, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

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