I got it. give me a couple hours. felt it only fitting to do this review with on heavy drugs. just waiting for the acid to kick in now. ~ The*(say shit)(My train wrecks)Π ~ 22:29, July 20, 2010 (UTC)
Intro: Good straightforward to the point. My only question is who is Ruby Tuesday? Could there be another joke there? According to Keith Richards in a 1971 Rolling Stone interview, he wrote the song in a Los Angeles hotel room in early 1966 about a groupie he knew; he has also stated that it was about Linda Keith, his girlfriend in the mid-1960s.
Foreword:Great, very British. I like the flow of this it has a very realistic quality. You can almost here the grizzled voice.
Acknowledgment:What about god they all thank god. LOL.
1. "Made a deal with some bloke, Lucifer, down on his luck - Wrote 'im a song. A hit is was!" a hit it was?
2. i know that many here would disagree, but i wondered if in the spirit of absent mindedness it wouldn't be better to replace the commas with three or four periods. In my mind it would show a more dramatic pause....like he is really...grasping for...words. you did this on some parts and left it out in others. I wouldn't think it would be to redundant since you are speaking in character. especially this part:
"2003, no 2005, no three, Mick got Knighted, .. told the wanker off ..press even agreed!"
Epilogue: Again I felt it was the dogs bullocks. very good.
Index:little short but that is the point right? was looking for a second entry here maybe " Everything else, page 1 " then put some thing in the center of the bottom that says page one. I have seen pages that put everything in a box
Concept was good, I wonder if you could actually understand a page worth of what he really would say. I am still learning alot about how to do things here but i am certain there is a way to change the background color to give the feeling of it being on one page with a number at the bottom. there are also really good picks out there of coffee stains and such, may give it a book feel?
Prose and formatting:
This works very well. Aside from the question of more periods it all fits well. i was especially happy with the fuckinell part. it was perfect. is it fucking or focking in English slang?
#could be bigger looks small for a cover. Love the out of focus pic
young keith not that funny but it fits the time line
ok pic follows time line
love that this one is out of focus
where is modern keith the one where he looks 100.
I would vote to feature this. I Feel if you made it look like you were looking at the one page itself it would be a 9 easy.
This is a good opportunity which has been simply wasted. I suggest you stop writing and read a book. Hell, read a paragraph. If you can't read I'm not surprised, just don't try writing anything. Was your computer plugged into a keyboard or a horse's ass? I have lost my faith in humanity by reading this. I'm not even exaggerating. Acually i was just trying to fill in this space. And see if you got pissed and quit reading it in an effort to blow up my user talk with hate. It was really good I have enjoyed the read. But the drugs have worn off so i must end it now.