Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnBooks:Bad Romance
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I could use some feedback on this thing.20:50, July 9, 2010 (UTC)
|A big mug o' reviewin' strength tea? Why, that must mean this article|
is being reviewed by:
UU - natter
(While you're welcome to review it as well, you might like to consider helping someone else instead).
(Also, if the review hasn't been finished within 24 hours of this tag appearing, feel free to remove it or clout UU athwart the ear'ole).
|Humour:||8.5||I'm doing this review at work, and curse you Hype, because I've been trying hard not to laugh in an obvious fashion. I like this, as I opined on the talk page. It's a good idea, and there are some very funny bits in it. I was torn between an 8 and a 9, so 8.5 it is.
To be honest, I don't think there's too much to do, jokewise - it's pretty clear what you're doing with this, and there are chuckles aplenty. The main thing I'd address is the end of chapter 2 - then some other stuff happened. I hope that's a kind of placeholder of the kind I so often use while writing, as while it made me chuckle at its incongruity, I feel there needs to be something happening there properly. Perhaps they are interrupted by a serving wench of some description, just as her passions are poised to overwhelm her?
Oh, and I think a line or two more filling in the Scooby Doo ending slightly - I think the Countess Vichy could possibly explain her motives (if you can think of any) before shuffling off. Oh, and and is there room to fit in the "I want your leather studded kiss in the sand" or "I want your psycho, your vertical stick" lines? I'm sure there's a way to squeeze comedy out of those. Call it a hunch.
|Concept:||9||Well played, sir.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||Neatly done, just marking down slightly because it doesn't quite feel finished. Oh, and it needs links, of course.|
|Images:||3||Definitely needs more. Whether you choose to use Gaga herself, or try to swipe more generic romance novel imagery from somewhere is entirely up to you, but there's no doubt this is the weak point of the article. Your cover is fine and dandy; the "fin" image suddenly feels like it's from a silent film - not quite in keeping with the UnBook nature of the article. I'd replace it, possibly with a "fin" in a decorative, scrolly font of some sort (still an image, just on a white background).
Other suggestion would be putting a pic in behind the first letter of each section, done in large, in the style of many such period books - you know the kind of thing I mean. Don't know if you have the time, motivation, wherewithal etc to do such, but it could add another level of awesome if done properly. Just a suggestion, nothing more.
|Final Score:||34.4||Love it, TBH. I like the idea, I like the execution (thus far) and when it's finished, I'd like to be the one to nom it. I do want to see more pics and a more satisfying conclusion to chapter 2 first, but beyond that, it's pretty damn good. Thanks for a good laugh on a monday.
Usual disclaimer: just my opinion, others available, and good luck. Blah blah blah.
|Reviewer:||--UU - natter 11:44, Jul 19|