My long-awaited foray into the realm of UnLiterature to justify an award nomination to myself. I am still waiting for my friend to photoshop a cover for me, so just pay no attention to the great big white space where the cover will eventually go at the beginning of the book. Thanks. —SirGuildensternenstein 19:19, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh, and please DON'T NOMINATE this for VFH (for those of you who will undoubtedly love this) until the cover is done. Thanks. —SirGuildensternenstein 19:24, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
That was completely incomprehensible. I had no idea what you were talking about, you jumped between langauges, your book sounds like it was written a hundered years ago, and no one in their right mind could understand it. I love it. It takes some skill to make something incomprehensible and funny at the same time, so good job on that. There are, however, a few things you could polish up: first, you might want to cut down the sex in Chapter 2- that got a bit tiresome. Next, you might want to trim down the plot in Chapter Four- that part was almost comprehensible. I also wish you could make some more of those fabulous deadpans, like the one at the end of Chapter Four.
Take an author i've never heard of and give him credit for writing a book that no one on Earth could understand. I think the concept might be a bit worn, but putting it in the form of an UnBook gave you quite a bit of originality. My only beef here that, because of the nature of your article, you don't really have a concept- it sounds like you make up things as you go. Is that a good thing? Depends on the reader- for me, I found it quite hilarious, though some readers might get a bit bored with it.
Prose and formatting:
Overall, no major problems. However, I think the size of your images makes the article look squeezed together on one side- i'd recommend trimming them down a bit to make the article have a more balanced look. Also, you might want to consider moving the image in your first section up a few paragraphs, around the center- it looks better in the middle of the section as opposed to the end of it.
While they don't have any laugh out loud moments in their own right, they compliment the text well. Other than reducing the size, I don't really have any suggestions here.
My overall grade of the article.
You've got a solid article with good writing and funny jokes- with only a little more fine tuning, i'd put this on VFH. The main things you can do for your article right now are reduce the size of your images, maybe spellcheck it one more time just to make sure you got everything right, tone down the sex in your second section, and make chapter four more random. Overall, you've made great use of a concept well worn, and I looked foward to voting for this on VFH once you've got all the screws tightened. Good luck! =)