Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/USB (Country)
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Digi 00:23, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||6||It's more "kinda clever" than what I would call laugh out loud funny. I like the Kyoto Compliant section. I think this is one of the better bits and should be expanded.
What about the development of USB? It could be argued that USB was a replacement for RS232. Or that was possibly an intention at the time. Actually these days (as you know I'm sure) RS232 is still around and is popular for some applications. USB never really completely filled the gap. How could this compare to the history of the USA? Maybe something about the attempted colonisation of the world by the USA, and the fact that huge sections of the USA now speak different languages? I'm not sure... But you get the idea.
What about firewire? Like the above paragraph, how could USB's relationship with 1394 parody into the History of the USA?
USB 1 had 3 speed modes, USB 2 has 4. How could this parody the USA?
USB started out just in PC, but now has spread all over the place. Sound like anything you know?
I also always recommend in my reviews that the author read back though and chop out the bits which they think are the most poor. I'm not going to say which I think are the worse, that's up to you. But be harsh with yourself, and remember quality over quantity any day.
|Concept:||7||I like the idea of comparing the US to a computer interface, but it's struggling a little bit because this is an idea which has been done in similar ways in a lot of other articles. In places you are just a bit too obvious with it. Try to make it a bit more subtle. Blur the lines between fiction and truth and you are onto a winner. Stuff like reduce FAT filing systems is too vague a connection. Just because FAT is related to computers does not really make it related to USB. I would stick to stuff related to cables if I were you. CAT5 makes sense to me, but FAT is NoTFunS! (sorry about that)... Make it more so that the reader is not sure if you are talking about the cable of the country. If you can get your prose more so that you can't really tell, this will work a lot better.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||First of all, you are woefully short of links to other articles. You really need to add some quality links to other stuff... Cat5 and Ethernet are articles I have contributed to, but you need lots more. Try to have at least 3 links per paragraph, or more if it a big one.
Generally, you write well, and I don't see many problems with your grammar or sentance structure, but it the trouble is it does not really look that nice. Many writers use italics and " and ' to make things more pleasing to the eye. I suggest you take a look at the styles used in UN:Best to see examples of styles which work well.
|Images:||0||Woops! Big fat nothing for ya I'm afraid! Well what did ya expect! Come now sir. Surely you know how to use google images or various other image search tools? Generally when I need a pic I do a few searches and pick some images which I can think of a funny caption for. As with the writing style, take a look at other articles to find out how to use images in articles.|
|Final Score:||25.1||Well, I don't know how well you know the technology, but basically I think you need to do some more research to try to find out more about the protocol. I have given you a few ideas, but get the wikipedia page up or maybe even take a look at the RFC (if you know what that is!) and try to figure out new ways that the details related to the protocol can relate to how you are doing this.
Your score looks a lot worse than it should as I have crucified ya over the lack of images. Please don't put anything up for Pee Review again without adding at least some pics, that's just not fair really.
As you might have guess, I'm a bit of a computer type myself, and so I actually know a bit about the subject. You need to consider however that many of your readers will have no idea about USB, and to make this a really good article you need to provide atleast something which will be accessible to them. I really hope you work on this some more. It's a good idea, and this can be much better if you put a lot more effort into it. Good luck!
|Reviewer:||MrN 22:16, Jun 16|