Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Tyranorexiasaurus (quick)

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edit Tyranorexiasaurus

Levelxero247 02:39, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

I just wanted my article to be reviewed, please don't rate it too low as it is my first decent article.

Humour: 5 There were definitely funny parts to this article. The characterization of you anorexic T-Rex was pretty good, describing it's eating habits (or lack thereof) and lifestyle as similar to those of an anorexic teen was funny. And bringing up that it's harder to categorize due to its lack of a diet was also funny in an intelligent way. The biggest problem is that it was just so short. If you wrote along the same comedic lines, but just went more in depth and talked about more topics then it'd be a quality article. If you lack inspiration, just describe an anorexic teen and insert Tyranoexiasaurus in its place. Talk about where it goes to hang out, how other dinosaurs reacted to it, mating rituals etc. Also, cut the self-depreciatory humor out entirely. It's funny to make fun of yourself at times, but in this article it just makes you look like you lack self-confidence. Believe in yourself, and anything is possible.
Concept: 7 I like the concept. Personification of animals is generally funny, especially when the name works like this one does. Like I said earlier, write along the same lines, just flesh it out more. It's a good concept, don't give up on it.
Prose and formatting: 5 The writing isn't all that bad. My only issues were: 1) We know it's skinny, you don't have to repeat it so repeatedly. Repeat it with less repititions. Or point out that it's skinny in a more oblique way, rather then just saying that it's skinny, or less fat. I did like the use of 2nd person perspective though. It's hard to rate your writing, because there's not a whole lot of it. Pretty much just write a whole lot more. Look at past and present featured articles for ideas too.
Images: 0 There are no images. Articles without images are boring. Go get some images, even crappy images can be funny if used correctly. And if the images you find aren't that funny, just make the captions funny. A serious image with normal captions can be extremely funny.
Miscellaneous: 4.3 Averages are fun.
Final Score: 21.3 Take what I say with a grain of salt. I too am a n00b, I just started submitting articles last week. If you want any help with rewriting it, let me know and I can help to the extent that you request.
Reviewer: --W.T. Door 10:23, 9 September 2008 (UTC)
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