PsychotypeD 19:34, 19 November 2008 (UTC)
It started off good... then I ran out of ideas and can't come up with anything else that is good. So I stuck some random stuff at the end and immediately put this thing up. Feel free to help out (I don't even like this article that much).
Its funny overall, but it has the feel that its half finished and rambling at the same time. Basically, it has too much intro and not enough body and/or later events. Also, try to avoid one line sections and keep the sections lengths relatively consistent if possible. Also, try to avoid bombasticness and celebrity name dropping, it makes the article look memy.
This article has the look like its not quite finished. Generally, you shouldn't put stuff on Pee Review until the article is "done", in the sense of all sections being completed and worked out fairly well. A good example would be a second draft of a school essay; its not in its final state, but all its parts are there and checked over at least by the original author.
The concept is funny; having the evil half as the attractive side is funny. However, some of the other ideas might not be. As a rule, the more "new ideas" you need to introduce into an article, the more random it sounds. Some of that material might be needed to "advance to plot", and some might be rambling.
Prose and formatting:
This is the score after I did some fixes. Otherwise, the score would have been 3, or lower. At the risk of being harsh, please USE PARAGRAPH BREAKS!!!1!!11one The way it was before, it was almost unreadable. I've noticed that in your other writing too. Also, put links into your article, like 2 or 3 per paragraph. Make sure all your links are live links too, even 1 dead or red link tends to make your article look ugly.
The images with the current "take" on the article. The Change 2.jpg image is funny, espeically with the caption but it has a "MS Paint" unprofessional look to it. You might want to consider looking for images that "line up" better, although MS paint morphs are generally hard to nearly impossible to get to look right. I'd advise you to keep that one even if you can't make it look better.
Improvablity score. It looks like an easy article to improve, but you still have a lot of work.