Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Treeism

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edit Treeism

MapleTree46 00:02, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

Cheevers99
This article is under review by
Gerry Cheevers.

Sayeth Gerry: shotgun!!
Humour: 2 this really isn't long enough to break down by sections, so i'll give it a once-through.

hmm this 'treeism' doesn't seem to exist, so i take it it's something you've made up yourself? as far as humor goes, you're lacking quite completely. this article seems to be some sort of copy of flying spaghetti monsterism, with some sort of possibly canadian twist. it's extremely short, you need to beef it up with more content. more on the origins, more on the big maple tree, more on the followers, beliefs, laws, etc. if you're going for a direct parody of something (christianity, canadians, hippies) you need to make it more obvious; i'm not really sure what your angle is.

Concept: 2 1/5 points for subject. you seem to have made up a religion of some sort. it's tough to make that work, humor-wise.

1/5 points for execution. you really didn't make me believe for a second that this actually exists. after reading this article, your reader should want to look this up on wikipedia to find out more, only to discover that it doesn't not exist. try to stay closer to the truth.

Prose and formatting: 6 everything was just okay. i'll proofread for you. just one block of text per section really doesn't help this score, try to extend the article and break sections up into paragraphs.
Images: 0 no images. try a treeist, or the big maple tree, for starters. or maple syrup.
Miscellaneous: 2.5 ave'g'd'd
Final Score: 12.5 you need to do a lot of work for this article to survive deletion when its construction tag expires. i'm not even sure how well this article is tailored for uncyc, given its content. but if you put some time into it, you can turn it into something worth keeping. extend it into a full article. read HTBFANJS, and see our featured articles for inspiration. throw some relevant images on there. most of all come up with some sort of angle or theme, and integrate into every section of your article. good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to contact me on my talk page.
Reviewer: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:09, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
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