Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Radio Star Murder

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edit User:Under user/The Radio Star Murder

I'm not after a hugely detailed review, this is a rewrite of a huffed article, and was just intended to be good enough, not great. As such, do you think it's ready to move to mainspace? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:51, 15 February 2008 (UTC)

I think its safe to say that video killed the radio star
Very amusing. Really. I never thought of that. Now, a review from anyone? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 23:12, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
Humour: 9 This was a great article. I love your style of humor, you're able to get a lot out of what many would see as just one joke. I was laughing (yes, laughing, not chuckling or giggling) through the whole thing. Forgive me for gushing. (I often do in my reviews of articles I really like) The only reason you don't have a ten here is the ending. To be honest, it doesn't make much sense to me. Your setup is a little weak, and is probably going to leave other readers just as confused as I am. An unfortunate smudge on a shiny silver article. Good thing it'll come right out with a little polish.
Concept: 9 I know this is a rewrite and all, but I still have to give you a ton of credit here. The way you presented this was just marvelous. Great ideas here. Can't really think of much else to say here, I can't see any way to improve this concept.
Prose and formatting: 7 Your tone was consistent, which is nice. You have a nice writing style, and this article just sounds very professional. Let me go over where you lost points here. I took one point away for that ending, which has a few grammatical errors, as well as that nasty looking run-on sentence at the end. You could probably make that into two sentences to make it easier on the eyes. Once again, I think you should rewrite the ending, it's just really confusing the way you wrote it. The second point you lost comes from a few other formatting mistakes throughout the article. Easy fix, just give this a good looking over before you send 'er off to the mainspace. The last point you lost was from that single, lonely image at the bottom. I'll address it more in the actual Images section, but I just wanted to make a point to say that it looks pretty sad all by itself at the bottom of the page. If it's going to be the only image in this article, (which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing) then it needs to be up at the top to grab some interest and not make this article look like a boring block of text at first glance.
Images: 6 The fact that there's only one image concerns me. And like I said before, the fact that you don't see it until the end of the article is another issue you should address. The image itself isn't bad, but it's not that great. It just kinda reinforces an existing joke in the text without really adding anything. I mean, sure it's relevant and all, but it's kinda boring. Another picture would be nice, preferably one you could put at the top of the page.
Miscellaneous: 7.8 Avg'd, frlz. =D
Final Score: 38.8 For what it is, this is a great little article. I'd say it's more than ready for the mainspace. And I'll be honest with you, I don't see this getting anywhere near VFH any time soon. But that's okay. It's still a good article. And I think you accomplished what you set out to do with this. Good job.
Reviewer: ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF (@ 22:47 Feb 21)
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