Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Racial Draft
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This article has been changed little by little I seek futher intructions regarding its direction. Taxis 04:09, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||4.5||Basically, this article isn't that funny; it feels like one liners rammed together. Granted, you have consistency, but that can't make up for a lack of humor. I can see that you put some effort into the article, but it just isn't a funny concept. Its one of those Sagas-without-humor articles. The PGA & KKK association isn't funny either; and it nit-pick, there isn't a monolithic KKK anymore.|
In order to get the article to work, you need to narrow it down more, and focus on the actions of only a few people. Avoid making it a collection of 100 one-liners, each about a different celebrity or organization. Also try to avoid bringing up names for the sake of bringing up names, it looks meme-y.
|Concept:||6||Concept is weak. The subject matter runs the risk of being listy and rambling, in addition to being too meme/random famous person based?|
|Prose and formatting:||5|| First off, your article is WAY to listy and has too many dead links. As a rule, you should aim for having no red links: treat every dead link as a formatting error. Red links make your article look bad, and is taken as a sign of bad writing by most Uncyclopedia readers.|
Also, you should try to cut down on lists and listiness. Tables are less "listy" than lists because they don't generate as much white space; if you can, convert your delegate list to a table.
|Images:||5||Nothing stands out; and to be blunt, images of random people &/or scenery aren't funny. Pictures generally should either be funny in themselves (i.e. alone with only its caption), or be really funny in the context of an article.|
|Miscellaneous:||4||Hard to improve, at least as far as I can see it. I'd advise you to but this one on the back burner, and probably consider a large scale re-write.|
|Final Score:||24.5||I can see you put a lot of work into this, & I don't like giving you this low of score; however, it just ain't funny.|
|Reviewer:||--Mnbvcxz 01:22, 19 November 2008 (UTC)|