Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Racial Draft

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edit The Racial Draft

This article has been changed little by little I seek futher intructions regarding its direction. Taxis 04:09, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 4.5 Basically, this article isn't that funny; it feels like one liners rammed together. Granted, you have consistency, but that can't make up for a lack of humor. I can see that you put some effort into the article, but it just isn't a funny concept. Its one of those Sagas-without-humor articles. The PGA & KKK association isn't funny either; and it nit-pick, there isn't a monolithic KKK anymore.

In order to get the article to work, you need to narrow it down more, and focus on the actions of only a few people. Avoid making it a collection of 100 one-liners, each about a different celebrity or organization. Also try to avoid bringing up names for the sake of bringing up names, it looks meme-y.
Concept: 6 Concept is weak. The subject matter runs the risk of being listy and rambling, in addition to being too meme/random famous person based?
Prose and formatting: 5

As you can see, dead links are ugly.

First off, your article is WAY to listy and has too many dead links. As a rule, you should aim for having no red links: treat every dead link as a formatting error. Red links make your article look bad, and is taken as a sign of bad writing by most Uncyclopedia readers.

Also, you should try to cut down on lists and listiness. Tables are less "listy" than lists because they don't generate as much white space; if you can, convert your delegate list to a table.
Images: 5 Nothing stands out; and to be blunt, images of random people &/or scenery aren't funny. Pictures generally should either be funny in themselves (i.e. alone with only its caption), or be really funny in the context of an article.
Miscellaneous: 4 Hard to improve, at least as far as I can see it. I'd advise you to but this one on the back burner, and probably consider a large scale re-write.
Final Score: 24.5 I can see you put a lot of work into this, & I don't like giving you this low of score; however, it just ain't funny.
Reviewer: --Mnbvcxz 01:22, 19 November 2008 (UTC)
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