Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Pun Invasion of Uncyclopedia
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OK, guys. Any suggestions or kicks in the balls will be gratefully received. I'm particularly interested to know which sections work, and which don't. Obviously any suggestions for new sections, or maybe a slight change in the concept will be gratefully appreciated. I was not sure if the title was right, or if maybe it might be better being more obviously about immigration with a slightly different concept. A Punnet of strawberry to the reviewer. Cheers. MrN 20:48, Aug 5
- It's Friday, work is slow, so I shall oblige. Rt Hon W E Gladstone MP GOM | Converse | 12:03, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
|The Rt Hon W Gladstone, MP, GOM is currently discharging the contents of his bladder in the vicinity of this particular contribution. You are cordially advised to stand well back, as decades of consorting with courtesans has left his aim somewhat lacking in containment!|
|Humour:||6||Ah, the humble pun. The lowest form of wit, and yet the basis of all comedy, the pun is something which all we Brits hold as dear as Chicken Tikka Masala, Spaghetti Bolognese and Turkish Saints.
So anyway. A pun should, in my mind, make you do one of two things. You either read it and think "My, that's a clever one, I must remember it", or you read it and cringe and be glad that whoever wrote it isn't your child as otherwise you'd feel the need to apologise to the whole world for the awfulness of the pun (my Dad's puns fall firmly into the latter category. As a starter for ten, try and guess why he laid on the floor in the middle of a French Supermarket in mid December – answer a the end of the article).
On the whole, my biggest criticism of the article as a whole is that there aren't enough puns – and in an article about the invasion of puns, surely it should be invaded, nay violated, by them
Opening paragraphs and quotes
Can do better. The Oscar Wilde quote is a bit random – I'd have been inclined to attribute it to one of his peers (Hegel), and call him a K*nt… Other than that – where are the puns? To my (admittedly still n00bi15h) mind, this should set the tone… And it doesn't really.
I've a few issues with this bit really, so to go through them in turn:
The Different Puns
Pretty reasonable, though the section on the whole could be sharper. Bilingual puns should have mentioned they were indeed feline pets (two German, named eins and zwei, and one French, name Un Deux Trois; while eins and Zwei made it to drei, Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq.) And you miss out the Petit Poisson rouge, though everyone knows that actually the petit pois sont vert. Of course, there are human puns, such as young Fritz, who is well aware that the sentence "Meine Schwester ist schwanger" does not contain the words "der, die und das", until he points out that, "der die daß gemacht hat is abgehaunt."
Oscar Knows Best
Unfortunately, this section just feels a bit like you've run out of ideas…
|Concept:||7||The concept itself is reasonable, and should work. The main consideration is how it's meant to be delivered – like I say, for me, it should be overloaded with puns. Additionally, (and you've done this slightly by your Wikipedia link) you could make it into a punning satire on the immigration debate, something which would make it a really damn good article.|
|Prose and formatting:||8||For one such as yourself, it shouldn't really be my place to comment on formatting 'n' stuff. Spelling and grammar there's one or two small comments – consistency of capitals (wiki/Wiki), rogue commas (…Life of Brian causing, a large…), consistency of formatting. I'd also like to see slightly longer sections, going into a little more detail. That will come out of the content, but it will make the formatting work better as well.|
|Images:||7||They're a little… flat. The same criticism is probably true of my pictures as well, but I think they could be a little more creative. And the captions could be more punning as well…|
|Final Score:||35||(1) He was trying to give my mother a kiss under the middle toe.|
|Reviewer:||Rt Hon W E Gladstone MP GOM | Converse | 14:42, 8 August 2008 (UTC)|