Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article

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edit The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article

Well, I've hit a massive writer's block in this article, and well, I'm hoping a review on what I've got down so far might help me get those cogs in my brain churning again. (you know that gurgling sound a coffee machine makes when its running? That's my brain right now.)

PS: I'm constantly going about editing this article, so for a reviewer who might look over it for a couple days or so, expect it to randomly change anywhere from a couple words to an entire new section.

SaltyKid 13:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

LOLOLOL!!!--Click meNO NOT ME!! I don't care if you click me 23:59, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 5 I really didn't find this to be that funny. Your pokes at Christianity weren't that clever, you inserted pop culture references where they were completely irrelevant or didn't make sense. Very few people can effectively accomplish random humor like that. I find that a wider audience finds satire (an easy form of humor) much funnier. On the whole though, you've got a few funny parts. I liked the "mass amounts of incest" bit. I really didn't like the vikings bit, to be honest I read half and skipped it. Skipping the middle ages, a very big opportunity for further lampoonery, didn't earn funny points either, it came across as being lazy rather than genuinely funny. The bit about Morse code sex was actually the funniest part of your article, I liked that quite a bit. The bits on WWII (of course it is only natural to focus on this) have funny potential, but fall flat imo. What struck me though was, "death to all Jews very insulated and fancy leather boots." If you are implying as a joke that Hitler planned to turn Jews into leather boots for consumption, I think that is, to quote Sean Connery in the context of WWII, "A bridge too far." While it's true that the Nazi's turned parts of dead Jews into household products like soap and lampshades, I find the satire here to be a little bit too offensive to be funny. I love un-PC humor, but some topics need to be treaded on softly and I think this particular facet of the holocaust is one of them. I'm not saying get rid of it, just change your delivery a bit. As for the other lined through and correct lines, I like the idea, it's funny, develop it.
Concept: 8 I like the concept, your delivery is a bit off, but on pure concept, this is a good one.
Prose and formatting: 6 It reads like an encyclopedia at times, but at others it feels like word masturbation. I find the funniest articles on this site aren't necessarily the random ones, it's the ones that look and act like actual Wikipedia entries that are the funniest. Now, there are ones that obviously deviate from that mold and are very funny, but for the most part, sticking to lampooning Wikipedia is the easiest way to be very funny to me.
Images: 9 I love the first image of the test pattern and the caption, that is very funny! the other's a pretty good, but the kids map of the world is unnecessary due to its size. it's visually cluttered and you have to click on it to understand what it is.
Miscellaneous: 7 this article gives me the impression that you have a good sense of humor, but you're forcing the random parts a bit too much.
Final Score: 35 Overall, I'd say you've got a good idea, but major parts of this article would be blown up if I were to re-write it.
Reviewer: Skinfan13 15:44, October 15, 2009 (UTC)
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