Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Hillbilly Bears

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edit The Hillbilly Bears

I worked on this page and I want to know how much I can make this page better.MrCleveland 22:21, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

MrCleveland 22:21, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Raptor This raptor is guarding this article while his master, Iwillkillyou333 is reviewing it. Be Careful! He Bites.
Humour: 4 I think you got some good ideas but it resulted in a short article. Writer's block maybe? anyway what you really need to do is to add more to it. Its too short. Also remove all red links as red links are f---ing annoying, so get rid of them.

Introduction:Not a very good one it doesnt really welcomes a reader to the article and would probaly not be very interesting to read. Make a more inviting introduction for the reader, and remove that redlink.

The Bears: This section is good as it explains the characters. Just add some more details and it should be good.

Hillbilly Years: I did like the last sentence of the article but the rest was just, meh. Add more information, tell what else happened, and remove that redlink. Aslo remove the they DID a bear as thats just stupid and not funny.

What happened later: Good but kinda short, just add more and it'll be fine.

Concept: 5 Good concept but just to short. You need to make your article larger by
Prose and formatting: 7 Spelling is ok but prose isnt too good. The Hillbilly Years can be merge into one paragraph. And dont repeat West Virginia after area as we already know its in West Virginia. And in the the song "Do the Bear" became a hit because it should have a period after Do the Bear and It in front of became.
Images: 0 There were no images, which is very dissappointing. Maybe you did had anything good or something so thats understandable. Images are what gives the article the sparks of life, they support your article and make it more fun to read instead of just a white article with a few jokes and stuff. Add at least two or three images in this article to spice it up.
Miscellaneous: 4 My average score
Final Score: 20 Ok this looks like your first article or something, but dont be embarrassed. Just do the corrections I instructed, get someone elses opinion as well, and read HTBFANJS to also help you out. Good Luck!
Reviewer: --Iwillkillyou 333 TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 02:33, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
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