Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Hex Factor
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|Humour:||2||Too random, not particularly consistent, far too many sex references.|
|Concept:||5||I actually kind of like the Hex factor as a concept, but not the way you've taken it. See comments.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||It's all random and hard to follow. But the formatting's fine, and there are no major spelling problems.|
|Images:||3||A one-minute MS paint job on the X Factor logo, and a seemingly random image.|
|Miscellaneous:||4||This does seem pretty miscellaneous.|
|Final Score:||19||Right, this isn't a great score, but I think the article could be rescued, if you're willing to put in some elbow grease and not just leave it as a collection of Potter Pr0n references and random stuff. See comments below.|
|Reviewer:||--Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 11:26, 3 October 2007 (UTC)|
OK, first off, take a look at HTBFANJS - even if you've read it before!
Right, now you've done that, please think about removing the random elements to this article, picking a coherent thread for it, and sticking to it. I can see a couple of suggestions for possible directions:
- An X-Factor for magic. Possibly as a new entry system into Hogwarts? They were getting lower intakes, and decided a reality-show makeover might boost their popularity? With the usual judges and format. Have fun with the conventions of the show. "Oh, you've turned him into a frog. How novel . Honestly, I've seen more original thinking in a photocopy. If that's the best you can do, you'll never make it at Hogwarts. Go cure hog warts - become a vet or something and stop wasting my time!
- Go with the standard X-Factor at Hogwarts thing, but leave out the sex stuff. Please. We had a whole load of drama over the Dirty Potter article, which did go further, admittedly, but it makes me suspect this article wouldn't be that popular. Maybe have the teachers be the judges - Snape makes a good fit for Cowell, for instance - and the pupils as the contestants. Focus on the auditions, as that's the funniest part of the show anyway. Then contestants voted off get turned into something icky? Again, have fun with the format of the show. But stick to the concept, don't go off target with stuff about God and Buddha and the Playboy Channel and so on.
Of course, you can ignore my advice if you like, and leave it as it is, or seek another opinion - others are available. But this kind of random stuff tends to attract the attention of VFD after a while. This is not a personal attack, just an honest review. Please take it as such.
Thanks for the advice. Actually I only added it to highlight the difference between random humour and uncyc humour (I'm from illogicopedia you see). Feel free to delete it but from the sound it you've got enough ideas for it to make it into a proper uncyclopedia article yourself. I like the bit about Snape being Cowell - have you watched the Potter Puppet Palls by any chance?
Anyway thanks for the advice but all in all this isn't a native uncyclopedia article. Good luck with your account here! --Testostereich 16:17, 3 October 2007 (UTC)
- What, me do it? Not a chance - I only take on stuff that interests me! I suggest ideas with pretty much every review I do as I appreciate the same being done for me. I even do this for articles I don't like in case people are serious about making them into good ones. But I watch them, and if there's no change, they go to VFD after a while. That fate awaits this if it doesn't improve, and as it sounds like you're not going to do anything with it, I'd say that will be soon! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 12:24, 4 October 2007 (UTC)
- Heh, go for it --Testostereich 15:39, 4 October 2007 (UTC)