Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Foreigner's Guide to the United States

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edit The Foreigner's Guide to the United States

Idiotic idiot 21:54, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

I was gonna review this, as it looked from the title to be funny. Instead what I got was a poor "let's attack the US (and not do a very funny job of it)" article. If you want to be funny, I would suggest re-writing the whole thing. If you want to attack the US with every "America sucks" cliche ever, well, then leave it as-is. And it should be noted that the US actually has a higher rate of economic growth and lower taxes than that beloved Leftist paradise known as Europe. So yeah. --Guildensternenstein 14:00, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

Ah, but we have less murders per 100 square miles. Beat that. --Nachlader 14:12, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

Ok, I've edited the article and made the America insulting slightly more subtle. I've also givern the article somewhat of a nationalist's look on America instead of a look on Amercia from someone who hates the country. The article still has a typical brainwashed American-style tone to it, but it still has facts about America spoken in a satirical and serious-yet-funny way. --Idiotic idiot 19:32, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 6 This article made me smile throughought--though I didn't actualy laugh at any point--and most Uncyclopedia articles don't do that. I thought it was a bit unsubtle at times, but it was consistently amusing. However, this would be massively improved by making the "America is shit great" voice into a "America is great" one. For example, when you say, "Why would anyone want to go somewhere like England or France to live, where you can get good healthcare and the government's actually good?", it would be more subtle to say, "Why would anyone want to go somewhere like England or France to live? They charge you outrageous taxes just so a few bums don't die outside hospitals."
Concept: 7 It's hardly an original idea, but the Government killing him for badmouthing America at the end of the article gave it an interesting twist, setting it apart from all the other "Americans are arrogant dickheads" articles.
Prose and formatting: 8 Your spelling and punctuation have few if any faults, making the article read smoothly. That said, your use of capital letters rather than bold or enlrargened text in places makes it look slightly unproffessional--but other than that, the writing is excellent.
Images: 4 The images you used were relevant and appropriately captioned. However, there were no hilarious captions or doctored images, and the George Bush image is outdated; I also thought that the "Stop asking qustions" poster was poorly incorporated into the article. It would improve it to upload the image properly--or use something else if it's copyrighted--so that it can have a proper caption ectr. I think that larger, more eye-catching images would also improve it.
Miscellaneous: 6.3 I really don't have anything to say here; I commented on everything I felt necessary in other sections.
Final Score: 31.3 Overall, I'd say this article is very funny but needs to be more subtle. You could try changing the perspective from someone who hates America but pretends to like it to someone who loves America but for the wrong reasons. I think the images could use some work, but it's certainly a long way from terrible in any area.
Reviewer: --Icons-flag-gbPigThe House of Pigs everyone hates me... 19:11, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

This is my first review, but I think I've done a decent job.--Icons-flag-gbPigThe House of Pigs everyone hates me... 19:11, 13 February 2009 (UTC)

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