||Okay so I finally got it. Dont judge me, Im sloooooooow. Suddenly im starting to like the article and find it amusing (a level higher than clever). Im specifically reading the talk page before I read the rewrite. Then, I cannot believe I am saying this, but you found a way to put sucking dicks into an article and make it really funny. I laughed out loud. And, the pontsy chatter up until that moment was worth reading to get to the suck three dick etc... part. And heartless bastard made me laugh even more. Is there a way to make the text before slightly amusing without losing the feeling of banter? Then --220.127.116.11 comes in, funny. Its reminiscent of Being and Nothingness (its the only article I know of with street talk). Funny as well, though I find it peters off afterwards, the John Cage part is funny, but I know for a fact that you could end it with something sharper than "smart ass".
||The concept is very clever. I would never have thought about using a talk page to augment an article (has it been done before?) As far as I can tell it is a structuralist and organic style artist arguing over aesthetics and art etc... in a formal boring style which breaks down into name calling and finally crashes with a vandal like doodle. All the while commenting on the confusing mainspace page giving us some kind of metafiction both in talking about the mainspace itself (confusing and unstructured) and the talk page (structured humour leading upto the laugh) Is that the concept? If thats the point (im not sure) could you exagerate the crash a little more? Could you make the sudden appearance of John Cage seem disasterous as well?
|Prose and formatting:
||I'm indiferent about the pictures. If you are trying to make it seem at first like a real talk page then should there be images? And if there are images, could you maybe find one that adds humour or parody to the article more than a caption saying "fuck im"? In my humble opinion it would be better to have a talk page that looks like a talk page, or pictures that are really funny and/or add parody.
||This part is done exceptionally well in my humble opinion. I wouldn't change much of the text, I think you did the vandalism part near perfectly, and the stuffy banter is contrasted so well with the sudden dick sucking section it gets its effect, atleast for me, it was funny and beings the end of civilised conversation. Having a new header is also a great idea at this point and labeling it in lower cases with wtf is a great idea.
||I add 10 because first of all, you got me (and made me feel like the least cleverestest person on uncyclopedia), and second of all I really love the creativity here (it suddenly even makes the jarble and what not on the mainspace page a little funny) and I liked the concept and humour.
||Its a great second part to the trilogy and Im looking forward to reading the third. As I said before, if the conversation is designed to break down into trash talk it could be exagerated more and for a funnier effect. And the pictures make it seem like less of a talk page and should be really funny or more engaging if you do use them. Its hard to critique much more or suggest more.
||--ShabiDOO --ShabiDOO 07:58, March 15, 2011 (UTC)