Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Symphony in Z Minor
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Though I was somewhat ambivalent to Salamander, this seems interesting. I'll get to this as soon as I can. (Which might be a while.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 19:44, October 12, 2010 (UTC)
|Humour:||9||My luscious mistress Lyrithya asked ChiefjusticeDS to search for a review I could do. After hitting the "Random page" button, this is the one he came up with, I presume. As I'm not a very good reviewer (or so they tell me) and am being forced into this (they'll kill my wife if I don't... Wait, do I even have a wife?), this review will probably suck. Nonetheless, I'm willing to give this a try.
Alright, so what section are we in? Ah, this one's called "Humo(u)r". That means I'm going to get down to business right away and talk about your article's humo(u)r. And apparently, that means the British and American sense of the word. Alright, but first I'll have to read your article... Hmm... I don't seem to have caught all your misspellings in that edit of mine. I'll have to talk to you about that in one of these other sections... Alright, so let's talk about this humo(u)r business of yours.
Let's start with the title, "Symphony in Z Minor". That sounds pretty intelligible. Z Minor, huh? A couple musically interested people might get that joke. Saying "'67" and then revealing you're talking about 1767 is okay, I guess. The way you start talking about some totally random unrealistic event which you allege to have taken place in 1767 is pretty hilarious, on the other hand. Also, only up to your balls? You succeed in returning to the subject at hand, quite surprisingly. I like how you've incorporated the word "mistress" into this article, though my mistress may be forcing me to write that.
The first sentence of "Composition" mentions hoes and sperm right away. I salute you, sir, for this admirable use (or abuse, as it may very well be called) of the oh-he's-going-to-talk-about-the-composition-now-OMG-he's-making-love-to-that-woman effect. And suddenly you end up 280 years into the future. That's completely normal, of course. By the way, you don't happen to own one of those police boxes, do you? Also, you mention sperm. And out of the blue, Beyonce clones! Nice. I actually like the idea of famous people having clones. I'm planning to incorporate that into the article I'm planning to write about Sarah Palin becoming President of the USA. Unless someone beats me to writing that article, of course. Then you turn into coral, which obviously implies you're smoking too much cannabis.
And somehow, we're back in 1767. And apparently December had forty days in it back then. Ah, good old 1767. I remember when I was floating in the void of space around that time. Good times. You seem to misinterpret the function of "Van" in Ludwig's name. It's not a middle name, it's actually a nickname. Ludwig "Van" Beethoven. Wikipedia makes a similar mistake, by the way. It fails to capitalize Van, while that's obviously the way Ludwig spelled it. This can be noticed by looking at the signature with which he posthumously signed his Wikipedia article. It's a bit different with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. His full name is actually "Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart". By removing his last name, Mozart, we end up with his first name along with all his middle names "Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus". As your article rather quickly assumes, Mozart was a horrible alcoholic. And this formula creating life sounds nice too. Isn't injecting air into your veins lethal, though? Or was it an actual vacuum inside those hypodermic needles? In which case it would've sucked part of your body inside that needle. Kind of like how that human-alien hybrid from the Alien Resurrection movie gets sucked through a tiny hole in the space ship. Ouch! The numbers magically translating into other stuff is pretty nice. I suddenly feel the urge to go to Beethoven's grave and put a rice bowl on it for some reason.
Next section! Yup, your symphony is pretty popular. I really enjoyed it when I listened to it while I was sitting in this train, having sex with some prostitute. Good times. Kate Bush? Why, that's a featured article! I wonder who wrote it... Oh yes, Cydonia on Mars. A lovely place, I must say. Too bad it was at 11:11, and not 10:10, or you could have linked it to something. Hmm... Feeding your slave girls nothing but your own semen. What a lovely idea. Your brain an oblong? That must feel pretty weird. A Cosmo Phone made from a watermelon, huh? Mmm, watermelons... Now, cumming in anger is really the upbeat thing to do. Oh, and a Disney future joke. Nice touch.
Suddenly, I arrive at your section "Recordings". It doesn't sound very interesting at first sight, but I'll play ball. I'm reviewing this article after all. Those two latter options sure sound nice. I think you could drop one of the things listed before the last two, though. Oh, penis-induced explosions, lol. Piano suicide, lol. Remote control cars, I tell you, is there even one night you can sleep on the floor without being surrounded by those nasty buggers? Really... Oh, the Beyonces again. Record labels, don't you just love their sense of "music"? And we're back in 1767 again. Strange how time can catch up with you, right? Coming into ears sounds nice. Supposing the owner of said ears cleans them first.
Another section already? Phew, almost ready then. Oh, I still need to write those other sections. Crap. And what's with serial killers wanting to take out the whores, huh? Like Jack the Ripper, did he just want to rob us of our well-earned pleasure? Damn asshole psychos killing my prostitutes. Hair clouding your brain? Now, that's just silly. Wait, cheese lightning? I suppose it's a nice concept if you like cheese. You like drawing graffiti penises too? Ain't that nice. And writing with sperm is just an epic suggestion. The rest of the section is nice too.
Your last section is simply utterly epic. Nuff said.
Though I think your humo(u)r was really good, I'm only giving you a 9 for some reason.
|Concept:||9||I like the concept. A title that sounds like some smart people would be interested in it. Some musicians might want to note something else about the title. I won't, however. The penises, sperm, prostitutes, explosions and whatnot are also quite nice. You get a 9 in this section as well.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||This is where you missed the mark. While your formatting was alright, you made several spelling errors. I'm not going to waste your time and mine by listing them here. When I'm done reviewing, I'm going to stick my penis into your article and correct those damn misspellings! I'm giving you a 7 because it kinda looks the way my penis curls upwards when you spin it around a little bit.|
|Images:||8||All your images ended up being relevant to the subject matter somehow. Congratulations! An 8 in this section.|
|Miscellaneous:||9||Well, I liked your article. But I'm only giving you a 9. Don't you agree a nine looks like a tired penis if you spin it around?|
|Reviewer:||GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:37, 28 November 2010|