Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Sweet smoking Jesus

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edit Sweet smoking Jesus

Looking for some CONSTRUCTIVE input. If you put some effort into telling me how to make it better, I will do so. If you just flip it off with one and two word comments, I'll shop it out for another pee review. Hugs! Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 21:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 8 I doubt very much I am fit to review your work, but if you'll humor me that would be really cool.

Anyway, I wouldn't classify this as uproariously funny, though it is very witty and clever. I smiled and chuckled throughout, but nothing made me double over in fits of laughter. The style and "level" of humor is consistent throughout the article, something I tend to notice most articles don't really do.

I've always thought myself that the picutres of Christ with his two fingers upheld looked like he was holding a cigarette. If this is what inspired your article in the first place, I applaud you for being weird like me and sharing at least one of my odd thought processes.

Concept: 7 An interesting concept, to be sure. When you consider that there are about a million articles on Jesus Christ and his various alter-egos and incarnations, I think *another* article on Him is somewhat unnecessary. However, this by far has to be one of the most original Jesus articles (judging from the fact that I've read (or at very least skimmed) about half of them).
Prose and formatting: 9 Excellent writing, I do believe. You told me on my talk page you've won awards for writing, and reading his it's easy to see why. Needless to say there are no gramatical errors to speak of, except maybe the hyphen in "long-stoke." You may also want to consider using "--" or "—" intead of "-" for dashes in your sentences, although that's basically a minor thing. It's really just a personal preference of mine more than anything, so don't really worry about it.
Images: 8 When you consider that the main image of the article is basically *the best picture you could possibly get* for this article, it's hard not to get a good score. The second picture isn't as great, though the caption makes up for this. Although some might say you need a third picture, I think two more than suffices. Another preference of mine, but you might want to move the second picture to the right rather than left side—I think it would look better there. However, this is just a suggestion and it's more than fine as it is now.
Miscellaneous: 7 This is actually below the average of your score. Think of it as a total point that I deductated from fractions of points in the other areas.

A general suggestion, say more about "Sweet Smoking Jesus" outside it's origin and discovery. Add an extra section or something; perhaps about people making pilgrimages to SSJ or its affect on religion/smoking today or the like would be funny/humorous.

Final Score: 39 A damn good—though not perfect—article.
Reviewer: --Guildensternenstein 05:47, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
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