Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Statutory rape

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edit Statutory rape

I stalled on this back on February and it is a little short, but I hope someone can help me expand it. Sir Starnestommy Icons-flag-us (TalkContribsCUN) 08:23, Nov. 29, 2009

Statutory rape that's a little short. Hmm (look for a long review of your short article in 24 hours). WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 21:34, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
Introduction to your reviewer

I like to start out my reviews by letting the reviewee know how unqualified I am. I just won Reviewer of the Month and am nominated for Uncyclopedian of the Month, so some people think I don't totally suck. I like going to art museums, but have never raped a work of art--while it was in the museum, at least not while the museum was open. I remember reading there's a famous statue of a woman that has semen stains, but don't remember which one. I remember a woman was arrested by an undercover operation because she sold marital aids at private parties in Texas, which I thought was stupid, and also think a lot of statutory rape laws are stupid--I remember a case where a 17-year-old was given a mandatory 10 years in prison for having consensual oral sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend.

Concept: 8 Like the concept, and how you brought statue and statuatory (meaning "legal" consent wasn't given) together.
Prose and Formatting: 7.5 I put many of my comments for Humour in with Prose and Formatting so I don't repeat myself, but do score them separately. Also the score for P and F would be higher; it's lower simply I found this just a little short (which of course you thought yourself). On the other hand, I gave you an extra .5 for good grammar and spelling. I really don't think it needs to be much longer, though. Some concepts are better done as shorter articles, so maybe just one more section.

Your introduction

The Oscar Wilde quote I find OK, but don't think I'd miss it if you cut it. There's a thing here that just about every article has an Oscar Wilde quote--but not many featured articles. I do like the way you've set this up as if it were a straight encyclopedia article.

History

I like the 375 BC bit, but might like to have some indication how the rapist was caught--nothing elaborate, maybe a word or two "was caught (by who?) Or (how?). I also like you showed that such a law would outlaw sex aids.
"Internet" should be capitalized.

Controversy

"...many proponents of laws forbidding statutory rape feel other people...."--I'm not sure what you meant here. I like the "suffer in silence" bit.
"Some extremely radical defenders of the criminalisation of performing sexual acts on statues...."--I like how you related statue sex to fictional images of prohibted sexual acts (I'm assuming that was the inspiration here)., but this sentence is a little long--I'd split it up into two or three sentences. "...many people creating statues modelled after famous celebrities then performing sexual acts on the statues so that they could claim that they had sex with famous people."--I like how you turned the idea of acts not really involving people but still being illegal on its ear (or behind?)--nice.
Humo(u)r: 7 I actually like the humour more than my score would indicate. The reason I scored it as I did is because I think the article could use more humour. You could expand the article a bit with quotes from authorities, or maybe from someone accused of statuatory rape; or maybe a specific case (made up) from modern times. I personally really like subtle humour, but some of this may be just a bit too subtle for some readers.
Images: 8 I really like the mailman statue and the caption works fine. The "poor thing" statue with the woman I don't care for as much. With the caption and image, I'm not sure if the woman in the picture is saying "poor thing," or if someone looking at the woman with the statue is saying "poor thing." Humour needs a clear focus. The armless statue with the caption "hands off"--yes, nice.
Miscellaneous: 7.625 Average of above
Final Score: 38.125 Just so you know, when I give an article a score that's close to but under 40 points, it means I think it's almost featurable, and could be with a little work. Definitely let me know on my talk page if you edit this.
Reviewer: WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 22:35, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
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