Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Star Wars (Japanese Opera)

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edit Star Wars (Japanese Opera)

Well, I wrote another Star Wars thing, and I think it's okay, but short. Is there anything you would add? Does it suck? Is it okay? If you don't want to review this, check out Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Evil which is, as of now, not reviewed.   Le Cejak <3:29, 25 May 2008>

Though TheLedBalloon reserved this Pee Review, he/she/it/Abominable Snowman has not yet completed it.

You may claim the review by replacing his/her/its/Abominable Snowman's name with yours.

Ok, I think I'll try this in your patented section-by-section style... I've never done it this way before, but let's see how it goes... - Don Leddy the Crunch Fedora (Nyah, see, nyah!) 04:49, May 25

Humour: 8 Ok, let's see...
  • Intro: 7. I dig it. Not that funny, but I liked a few lines quite a bit, like the one in that second paragraph, and it sets us up nicely for the script to come.
  • Act 1: The Evil is Presented: 7. Again, pretty good. Nice play on translations, and the innuendo joke works pretty well, despite jokes like it being just a touch overused. It still feels like it needs to break out, though.
  • Act 2: Evil Reemerges: 10. Yep, there it is. All the comedic motifs that have been going on feel like they've culminated, and for me this is where it got really funny. Again, I like how it plays off Japanese-English translations and feudal Japanese culture/stereotypes, as well as the hand thing.
Concept: 8 I enjoyed this concept. The idea of a mistranslation/reinterpretation of the Star Wars flicks by another culture generally appeals to me, and paves the way for loads of general zaniness.
Prose and formatting: 8 No problems at all here. Spelling was fine, and the translation parody seemed spot-on.
Images: 8 Again, no complaints. Pictures were relevant, and had funny captions to back them up. Nice work.
Miscellaneous: 6 Ok, here's where I have to mark you down. My main problem with this page is that it's too short. I'm a greedy bastard, and I need more unscript. I think you could get away with introducing a Han Solo-esque character, perhaps have a Mos Eisly scene, or even do something with Hoth or Endor. Heck, devoting half an act to having mighty Vader crush the dishonorable traitors to the empire could be hilarious. May I recommend having Vader or Palpatine ravage the inferior rebel women? Basically, just pick few famous Star Wars scenes, and run with it. Let your fanatical devotion to the Glorious Emperor of the Sun do the rest. Don't feel too limited by making sense, in this case, since you don't really need to for this UnScript.
Final Score: 38 So... yeah. Pretty much all you need to do for this is add some more stuff, like the stuff you have. Maybe another act, or even two if you're feeling daring or industrious. Anyways, I hope this review helps, and good luck!
Reviewer: - Don Leddy the Crunch Fedora (Nyah, see, nyah!) 05:21, May 25
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