Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Star Fox

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edit Star Fox

This is a page I have invested a lot (if not all) of my time on Uncyclopedia, both in writing and in photoshopping random pictures together to make no point whatsoever. I would appreciate any feedback (Heartwrenching or otherwise) as well as advice for making it better.

RestamSalucard 03:58, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 6 Some real gems in there, but its clogged up with too much crap. If I were you I'd edit out about 40% of the stuff there. Also, although I do enjoy random humour, there is a bit too much of it, try to keep it grounded within the star fox universe. I liked the quotes and references to the stupid points of the game, gave me a warm fuzzy nostalgic feeling, and also made me laugh, try to get more of these in.
Concept: 7 This has real potential but it is being ruined slightly by the length and randomness. If you improved it this could be featured.
Prose and formatting: 4 Get rid of most of those quotes, especially the random ones. Also filter some of the more tedious sections like the list of characters which is extremely long and rather dull. Some of it isn't even intended to be funny (I assume) ie ' The first and only Star Fox game released on the N64. It was also the first game in the series to include actual voices to go along with the talking heads inside the game. ' Also get rid of (or heavily edit) the list of games, its probably the weakest point in the article
Images: 5 Again, some of it is funny ie 'General Pepper's Brilliant strategy', but there are too many pictures and there is an over reliance on random humour ie Nazi Fox, pokemon, Halo etc
Miscellaneous: 5.5 averaged
Final Score: 27.5 I like it, but it is far too long. Try to make the article more satirical of the series; exaggerate the crappiness of Slippy, the stupidity of the dialogue and plot etc. Whilst random bursts of non-sensical information is funny, it does get boring easily. Try to avoid this.
Reviewer: --CrabPope 20:37, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
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