Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Spore Numero Due

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edit Spore

took to consideration the last review, and did some fixes, however i am not sure how I feel about the quotes at the top. i am told that they are good, but I just don't like the quote template Icons-flag-pi Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 02:35, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Humour: 6.5
Robertson phallus hadriani

A penis, if you depend of jokes about this, your not being funny

You come on too strong too early at times, and I do see some contradictions in the article. For example:

"The Galactic edition of Spore contains many, MANY more features (including the 100 or so pages missing from this guide ($10 per page) ), as well as the actual game itself. If you want to purchase the Galactic edition, please call or go online and opt to buy it for an easy payment of $129.99!"

How can it cost $129 for the manual, AND $10 per page for 100 pages? Also, its a bit crass at times. Generally, if you need to say "penis" or "gay" to be funny, your not being funny.

Additionally, try to avoid outlandish hyperbole, it doesn't work fails 142 bagillion percent of the time. It isn't too bad right now, but I do see some hints of it.
Concept: 8 Good concept, making fun of a computer game. Those type of articles are generally among the most easy to make funny in my opinion. The fake manual is a good idea, but I'd suggest you try to make it look more a manual or switch to a "generic layout". Its kind of an unhappy medium right now; it doesn't look like a normal article or a manual.
Prose and formatting: 8 I don't see any major errors. However, the page skipping in the headers is little annoying, especially since the article doesn't "look like" a series of extracts, i.e. it flows together well. I'd suggest you consider renaming the headers, maybe getting rid of the page numbers all together if you can't get them to work.
Images: 7 First two images are funny. But what is with the last one? It looks like too random, and homo erectus in not funny in and off itself.
Miscellaneous: 8 Improvability score. This article should be fairly easy to improve.
Final Score: 37.5 Your have a good article that could use some more work.
Reviewer: --Mnbvcxz 01:19, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

P.S. you might want to try turning it into a unbook, i.e. rename it "Unbooks:Spore Manual" then try to get if featured in the unbooks section, it might be easier than getting a real Highlight. Unfortunately, I don't know how its works, and it is inactive, but they did have a feature for this month.--Mnbvcxz 22:04, 21 November 2008 (UTC)

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