Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Spam war of 2009 (the)

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edit Spam war of 2009

proper link is here http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Spam_war_of_2009_(the)

FlameThrougher 13:44, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

I'll have your spam. Within 24 hours. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 04:27, October 4, 2009 (UTC)
Humour: 3 Why am I I like to tell my reviewee my qualifications or lack thereof at the beginning. I am new here but was Noob of the Month and just got nommed for Reviewer of the Month, so I don't totally suck. But whatever evaluation I make is my opinion, and others may certainly disagree with me. As for spam, I think I've seen just about every episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus and all their movies. And I actually do like eating Spam, especially the original fried crisp in a pan using no oil but its own. But Internet spam I spit out, never swallow. Also I've never played World of Warcraft.

I'm putting my comments on humour in with the Prose and Formatting section.

Concept: 7 I think what I understand of the basic concept is good, but I’m not sure I really know what it is. The idea of a spam war involving zombies I find funny.
Prose and formatting: 4 The funniest part of this article to me was the link to Monty's Python's Spam sketch. Any excuse for me to watch that classic sketch once again is welcome. But, perhaps partially because I didn't know some of the references, frankly I didn't find this article funny.

I'm dividing my comments into paragraphs to follow the order of the paragraphs in this article.

  • "spam spam...penis...spam." I don't get why this is here.

Rising Tention Did you mean "Tension?"

  • "The spam war of 2009" should be "The Spam War of 2009 (same with the title)." Also it says it "had many events leading up to it" but doesn't say what these were. You might want to check capitalization--"youtube" in this paragraph, "internet" and "world of warcraft," in the next, "july" in the one after that, etc. , "It was done by using subliminal messages in those oh so enjoyable speech bubbles that appear on the screen."--I like this part. "The video and its drone...."--what's the drone? And "spamming zombies" sounds like "zombies who do the spamming”--is this what you meant? And who controls them?

The Turning Point

  • "All these spam zombies were all well and good."--why are they good? Also they're "spam zombies" here and "spamming zombies" in the previous sentence--or are these two different things? “They were already spending all day on the computer so they were all given the free version of world of warcraft so they could spend all day on the computer somewhere else.”--was there a reason the whoever-it-is-behind-this wants these zombies to leave home and use another computer? And why did they want them controlled to play World of Warcraft?
  • “It wasn’t until the game crashed....””They were so bored, they even considered going outside....”--I like this part. In this paragraph you say nerds are distinct from spam zombies. What is the difference? What is a spam zombie?
  • ”Many sites....” Again, capitalize words such as “runescape.” I don’t understand this paragraph--why do people want to control the spam zombies, and are these distinct from spammers? How did spam zombies gain strength from the attention? Why did these sites explode from spam--where did it come from?

Twitter

  • “The spam war (Spam War)....” Why were the leading sites trying to conceal the Spam War, and what was the Spam War? Again, capitalization (internet, twitter, etc.) I like your description of Twitter as a site for nerds “to tell people what they were doing and have the impression that people actually care” and the tweets. But if Twitter is continuing as it was before and isn’t affected by the Spam War, why is this mentioned?
  • ”The regulars on twitter soon made it the fastest growing site in the internet.”--how did they do this? “all you have to do is write “spam” in the “what are you doing” section and tweet it a thousand times.”--this I liked (although again check capitalization).
  • ”Twitter saw....” How did flaming the spammer make they stronger?

Email spam

  • ”Some of them were forced of (off) the internet (Internet) and to spam peoples (people’s) inboxes with messages blatantly insulting the size of the readers (reader’s) appendage.”--nice.
  • ”It wasn’t only dick jokes....”--doesn’t seem to agree with the above, which seems to refer to serious ads trying to convince men they need to enlarge their manhood.
  • ”Users wanted this spam gone....” I like that spammers (are these spam zombies or those who control them?) tricked people into getting more spam by trying to stop it, especially because this is true.

The Army Grows

  • ”Despite the dest attempt from (by) others....”--I don’t know what “dest” means--did you mean desperate or best? I like the “68297846th visitor and have won a mystery prize” part. “This site actually brainwashed the visitors due to the ugly hair of rick astley.”--I don’t see how this fits the article.

Resolution

I rather like this. But again I don’t know what a spam zombie is, so don’t know what affect that will have on the reader. Also I don’t get the “TURTLECANCER” part.
Images: 7 I think your images are fine. I would like to see one more to break up the text. I like the graph, but would like to see an explanation of what the red and blue lines means. Also this shows spam over more than one year.
Miscellaneous: 5.25 Average of above.
Final Score: 26.25 I think you’ve got a workable concept. You might want to work on making it clearer to the reader. I’d also suggest looking over what I found to be the best parts, and try writing more like that good stuff. If you edit this, please post a message on my talk page. Thanks for your article!
Reviewer: WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:50, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
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