Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/SimShitty Article

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edit SimShitty

Hi, I was getting a little tired of not having the SimShitty article since it was deleted after going down hill. I have brought back an earlier version (for now) and would appreciate some help in getting it to a more acceptable level. Thanks,

Rbpolsen Icons-flag-us.png 02:32, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Almost done hold up. ~SirTagstitVFHNotMPEEINGCPTRotMBFF 19:56, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 2 There are really two main problems I see with the humor. The first, is that no matter how many times you say shit, it doesn't get any funnier. You could say shit every other word and it just makes it that much stupider. What you do here, is exchange words for shit, especially in the beginning. If you want this to be even close to good, I STRONGLY suggest you get rid of all that nonsense. It ends towards the middle but still. Next, the humor gets destroyed from two major problems that can be found in concept and prose. Read there for more. But in the meantime, I suggest you read, HTBFANJS and a few good articles first. Before you really get into how to fix the humor, I suggest you look at concept and prose problems first.
Concept: 3 I for one, never really found articles with pun topics to be extremely thrilling because often times, ideas run out in about three sentences. A GOOD example of a pun that works is Pawnography. That article was very good. Here though, you just talk about a video game, exchange a few words with shit, and make HUGE lists that no one will really ever read. If it were me, I would say just stop this whole article, let it rot, and move on to a more promising concept. There are many out there. Put some thought into a good concept and then go out there and write it. Stick to it and don't go to far from it. Make it based on jokes higher than a second grade level. Otherwise, it just turns out to be boring and stupid. A better flow would also help.
Prose and formatting: 2 After a spellcheck this article really needs two major things. First of all, get rid of ALL the red links. They make the article look messy. Either just make them normal words or replace them with links that actually go somewhere. The BIGGER thing though, is you HAVE to get rid of ALL LISTS. This article is entirely list based and it is long, messy, and ultimately unfunny. Nobody is ever going to take the time and read through each item on each list and so your purpose is defeated. Before you make ANY changes get rid of every damned list on that page. Make them into paragraph form so they will look more encyclopedic. A list here and there is fine, but make them shorter and fewer.
Images: 4 The pictures were probably the most presentable part of this. They weren't completely random but at the same time, they didn't add any humorous value. An issue I do have though, is that they all bunch up on one side in the middle. This looks messy and screws up potentially good formatting. Spread your pictures out a bit.
Miscellaneous: 3 Averaged
Final Score: 14 This is really a bad article. I am sorry to say. It is messy and ultimately unfunny. Where it tries to be funny it falls on its face. I am sorry for the bad score, but this seriously needs alot of work. If you have any comments or questions feel free to ask me on my talk page. Good luck!
Reviewer: ~SirTagstitVFHNotMPEEINGCPTRotMBFF 20:41, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
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