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Collaboration with Nachlader and a toaster yielded... this. Guess I'm hoping for some thoughts, suggestions, etc before I start hitting it with a mallet? Some such. 20:33, 7 September 2011
I'll take this one. I promise not to accuse you of being Dexter this time :) -22:56, September 14, 2011 (UTC)
|Humour:||7||I like this. The idea of using sewing for things other than cloth fabric is nice and absurd without being too blatantly zany, it's a subtle absurdity, like a deadpan, which fits the tone of the idea well. It's a very enjoyable little piece of funny, If there's anything I'd change from what you've got, it would just be to provide a slight more consistency in the perceived usefulness of sewing. In one bit, sewing presents a high casualty risk because of its being used on armor, yet in the next bit can still manage to be a reliable way to hold cannons together. I'd recommend fusing the two slightly, making it appear that sewing is highly regarded as a fix-all technique used by millions, but finding a subtler way to illustrate to the reader that it really is as ridiculous an idea as it seems to sew an entire building together, but maintaining that the general public is blissfully unaware of the fact that everything's falling apart, or just don't know any better.
Beyond that, it just needs some expansion. There, down at the bottom, that's the place. It should expand there. That's the place where it's unexpanded...
|Concept:||7||As mentioned, I like the concept a lot. It's rather simple, but pleasantly absurd and pretty flexible. In later expansion I'd think it should escalate slightly to more and more ridiculous things to be sewing together (the California state fault lines, for example), but that's entirely up to you.|
|Prose and formatting:||9||As usual your prose is glowing. The "sewing them together with containers of juice" bit, while I find it funny, does sound a little ambiguous the way it's written, so maybe that line should be touched up, but it's really a minuscule issue.|
|Images:||6||The images you've got work fine, although I recommend adding one of a building or some other such large structure with ridiculously large stitching photoshopped on. Or GIMPed on, or you know, whatever. Someone told me once that you've got a good hand at image manipulation, but if you'd like I could probably pull off a good one myself.|
|Miscellaneous:||7.5||Other scores averaged together.|
|Final Score:||36.5||It's looking very fine to me. Just a little more work and it'll be a delightful read.|
|Reviewer:||-23:45, September 14, 2011 (UTC)|