Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Selling Drugs (Second Review)
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Mooninite4ever 21:34, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
- Reviewing. MacMania 21:55, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
|Humour:||2||Hello, I'll be your reviewer for today.
I'll take a proven approach and break it down by section:
Intro: Okay. Nice chain of events leading up to modern times. I liked it; it's interesting; it's not entirely nonsensical; but something's missing. I think you could do well by expanding this further into a History section, then spread out the jokes a bit, even. Right now this section is a haze of text.
HowTo: Everything below falls into the first heading, so I'll treat this as one section.
OK, it's nicely tongue-in-cheek, and, well, that's the only thing that supports any humour here. Sarcasm is an adequate form of satire, but rarely works by itself. Have you read HTBFANJS? That lists a few other good devices you can rely on.
There have been some improvements since the last review; you've elaborated on the history, and it's a start. But it doesn't seem to be enough.
|Concept:||2||Right now this feels like one-third history, two-thirds HowTo. Have you considered making this into a HowTo? Like: HowTo:Sell Drugs. That could do you well, and seems to fit the tone and subject matter better. It's not working as well as an ordinary Uncyclopedic entry.|
|Prose and formatting:||4||All right, I don't see any obvious spelling or grammar errors, which is good. But this article is very text-heavy, and so it looks sort of unappealing. Non-encyclopedic tone, which wouldn't be a problem were this a HowTo.|
|Images:||1||Since the last review, you have added, er, negative one images. So you are left with one image, which should be remedied as soon as possible. The one image that is there is OK.|
|Final Score:||12||It's a concept that could be a lot better in a HowTo format. I do strongly suggest converting it into a HowTo, making the tone more consistent, adding more images.
Oh, and if anyone wants to give a more in-depth review, that's fine too.
|Reviewer:||MacMania 22:31, 27 July 2009 (UTC)|