Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Scopes Monkey Trial
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I've rewritten the article and added a few pictures. --18:46, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
|Humour:||6||Sometimes, you go too far for a joke. "... West Harley Interstate Terrifying Economical Tennessee Regional Assumed School of High (W.H.I.T.E. T.R.A.S.H)", for example, is waay too far, with too little return on the not-inconsiderable investment that the reader used to read it. That said, "... the town was divided. The men were put on one side and the women were put on the other in order to eliminate the possibility of reproduction while the controversy was sorted out." is the perfect distance to go for a joke. It's quick, tight and unexpected.|
|Concept:||7||A fairly straight (by Uncyc standards) take on the trial.|
|Prose and formatting:||7||Some good English, some okay. Sentences like "He then declared that everything the defense had was no longer being allowed in court." would be better as "He then declared that the defense's entire case was no longer admissible in court." This makes it sound more lawtastic. In the very least, knock "being" out of the sentence.
...that being said, not sticking with the lingo of the era can work; you just have to be consistent with the inconsistency.
|Images:||5||The first is fine, the second is close, the third and fourth aren't there at all. In other words: needs more pictures. Pictures are pretty. I like pretty. But I digress...|
|Final Score:||35||A good start. I hope that my review isn't as useless as it appears to me, reading it now on preview. Oh, well. Pee Reviews are hard.|
|Reviewer:||18:25, 12 April 2008 (UTC)|
Well, I guess it's fortunate I made a version of the picture without all the Nazi stuff on him. Thanks for the help! -- 22:32, 12 April 2008 (UTC)