Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Sarah Palin addresses the Australian Tea Party (2nd Revision)

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edit Sarah Palin addresses the Australian Tea Party

The final time I request a review for this article, I swear. --Username18 KUN FP 23:37, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

So you want us to review your request to review or comment on the sub pagename line?
If it's the former, I'd give it half a star for persistence. If it's the latter, yeah the line looks fine.
OK, sry I'm a NOOB! Read your article now about a religious and racist palin trying to get Australians to revolt against the atheist, terrorist-loving president. Politics in itself is a very SAD subject, for me, so I really didn't find many things to laugh about in it. Is it supposed to be her writing it? Her redneck views aren't much different to the majority, anyways! Good writing, a little jumpy from paragraph to paragraph, but all-in-all nice. The preceding unsigned comment was added by Undies (talk • contribs)
Unless you intend to fill out the table, all of the table, comments in general go up here, mon. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 01:17, 27 May 2011

I'm reviewing this. Right now. Yes. I mean... well, assuming I can remember how, anyhow. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 09:27, 23 June 2011

Concept: 8 Mmm, not bad, not bad at all. I've no idea if this is referring to an event in particular, but supposing it is, even better. If it's just general referring to her and the sorts that go for tea party whatnots, well, that works too, seeing as it has good references about her, things folks like to mock - seeing Australia from her house, a tired joke, but the more tired jokes the better - adds another level of mockery. In sticking to the pictures, the plastic smile, though it could be made more explicit; patriotism is good, but... but perhaps you just need more of it? Emphasise the plasticity. And FOX - most all of us are used to the mockery of that, how it proports to be the unbiased media when it's really just biased in the other direction, and you reference the notion of biased media, but come on, man, it's so much bigger than that. The media is controlling people. Folks flock to the screens and believe everything they see, hence why liberalism is so popular - liberals control the media, or so the more conservative like to say. My point is, this doesn't even come close to the paranoia and silliness folks actually do, so how can it mock it? You need more, so much more, and if you do, it'll probably be great. Not that it's not pretty damn good as it is, but... you know.
Humour: 7 More of an issue are some of the individual jokes, though - overall themes could be played out more, but they're really fine the way they are; what breaks it a bit for me are the bits where the flow of it just breaks. It says something completely ridiculous that doesn't fit with the other ridiculousness, or she says to visit her facebook out of the blue towards the end without any of the lead-up the other instances of that seem to have. As long as it leads up to it or it's a non-sequitor that fits the pattern of the rest of it, it works, but otherwise it just jars when reading it, and that tends to kind of ruin jokes.

As for the ridiculous, I think I mainly mean the $25,000,000 fee - especially since you have a much more reasonable number for the dinner in Singapore. Sure, it's an irony that one pays for the thing, and more ironic the more paid, right? But a number that big literally looks like a joke, which just isn't as funny as an actual joke of how much folks will pay for such things in reality. Like that dinner. That's pretty normal. Perhaps a few hundred dollars for this would make more sense as well; the fact that it's 'free' makes up for everything.

Prose and formatting: 8 Mmm, good writing, nothing horribly wrong (or wrong enough to note at all, really), save for some inconsistently times jokes like I already mentioned. Overall appearance of the thing could be better, though, perhaps. All in italics like that is a little odd, and the bold and the links really stand out, but it's less of an issue upon actually reading it, so unless you have a better idea of what to do with it (I don't), I wouldn't worry about it.
Images: 6 The first image, it makes a good point in the caption, but I'm not really sure it's the best image to use for this, really. Could you work the caption in somewhere else and get something more plasticky? Like the other one, since she's basically trying to sell something with this, even if it is just the notion of following her on FaceBook and Twitter (I'm not sure if adding another one that she's after would be a good idea or not, but it might be something to consider, just to play out how silly it is even further). She's like those snake oil guys, all smiles and sleaze, and looking uncertain like that is all very well and fine, but it doesn't really fit, you know? More like the other one, perhaps. Snake oil.
Miscellaneous: 7 I think I should point out at this point that I don't actually like this stuff one bit. Poor woman has such a hard time... regardless, you pull it off well.
Final Score: 36 I'm saying to make it more ridiculous, but ridiculous within bounds of reason, or some such. Consistent ridiculousness? Hopefully that makes some sense to you... hopefully this all makes some sense and will help. Best of luck to you, mon, whatever you wind up doing.
Reviewer: 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 12:21, 23 June 2011
8
Bloink
Concept
The idea, the angle, the grand funny of the article...
Mmm, not bad, not bad at all. I've no idea if this is referring to an event in particular, but supposing it is, even better. If it's just general referring to her and the sorts that go for tea party whatnots, well, that works too, seeing as it has good references about her, things folks like to mock - seeing Australia from her house, a tired joke, but the more tired jokes the better - adds another level of mockery. In sticking to the pictures, the plastic smile, though it could be made more explicit; patriotism is good, but... but perhaps you just need more of it? Emphasise the plasticity. And FOX - most all of us are used to the mockery of that, how it proports to be the unbiased media when it's really just biased in the other direction, and you reference the notion of biased media, but come on, man, it's so much bigger than that. The media is controlling people. Folks flock to the screens and believe everything they see, hence why liberalism is so popular - liberals control the media, or so the more conservative like to say. My point is, this doesn't even come close to the paranoia and silliness folks actually do, so how can it mock it? You need more, so much more, and if you do, it'll probably be great. Not that it's not pretty damn good as it is, but... you know.
7
Bloink
Humour
The implementation, how funny the article comes out...
More of an issue are some of the individual jokes, though - overall themes could be played out more, but they're really fine the way they are; what breaks it a bit for me are the bits where the flow of it just breaks. It says something completely ridiculous that doesn't fit with the other ridiculousness, or she says to visit her facebook out of the blue towards the end without any of the lead-up the other instances of that seem to have. As long as it leads up to it or it's a non-sequitor that fits the pattern of the rest of it, it works, but otherwise it just jars when reading it, and that tends to kind of ruin jokes.

As for the ridiculous, I think I mainly mean the $25,000,000 fee - especially since you have a much more reasonable number for the dinner in Singapore. Sure, it's an irony that one pays for the thing, and more ironic the more paid, right? But a number that big literally looks like a joke, which just isn't as funny as an actual joke of how much folks will pay for such things in reality. Like that dinner. That's pretty normal. Perhaps a few hundred dollars for this would make more sense as well; the fact that it's 'free' makes up for everything.

8
Bloink
Prose and formatting
Appearance, flow, overall presentation...
Mmm, good writing, nothing horribly wrong (or wrong enough to note at all, really), save for some inconsistently times jokes like I already mentioned. Overall appearance of the thing could be better, though, perhaps. All in italics like that is a little odd, and the bold and the links really stand out, but it's less of an issue upon actually reading it, so unless you have a better idea of what to do with it (I don't), I wouldn't worry about it.
6
Bloink
Images
The graphics themselves, as well as their humour and relevance...
The first image, it makes a good point in the caption, but I'm not really sure it's the best image to use for this, really. Could you work the caption in somewhere else and get something more plasticky? Like the other one, since she's basically trying to sell something with this, even if it is just the notion of following her on FaceBook and Twitter (I'm not sure if adding another one that she's after would be a good idea or not, but it might be something to consider, just to play out how silly it is even further). She's like those snake oil guys, all smiles and sleaze, and looking uncertain like that is all very well and fine, but it doesn't really fit, you know? More like the other one, perhaps. Snake oil.
7
Bloink
Miscellaneous
Anything else... or not...
I think I should point out at this point that I don't actually like this stuff one bit. Poor woman has such a hard time... regardless, you pull it off well.
36
Bloink
Final score
1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 12:21, 23 June 2011
I'm saying to make it more ridiculous, but ridiculous within bounds of reason, or some such. Consistent ridiculousness? Hopefully that makes some sense to you... hopefully this all makes some sense and will help. Best of luck to you, mon, whatever you wind up doing.
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