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Some idiosyncratic shit that I created. Wanted to know if anyone finds it funny besides me. ~14:50, Jun 22, 2010
I'll review this when I'm done reviewing Holy Martian Empire,and I'm nearly done, so it won't be to long. When I start the review, it'll probaly be around twelve hours or less to review.--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 19:42, June 22, 2010 (UTC)
- That took longer than expected, but I'm here now. 12 hours or less--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 03:07, June 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, yeah, not to be insulting, but while you review, can you not quote HTBFANJS? You can just refer to it. It's just that I've read it many times, and I can go read it myself again if I want to. And thanks in advance. ~ 05:20, Jun 23, 2010
- Also, no review booking while you are reviewing something else, Iwillkillyou. I don't want to see it happen again, for any reason. -- 08:31, June 23, 2010 (UTC)
|I like to write a lot of things, I’m pretty good at Pee Reviews, and I received an award Author of the Month Award and one feature. Also I like Avenged Sevenfold, Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3, and brunettes and emo girls.|
|Concept:||10||Just getting a glimpse of the article, it gives me the idea that the article is professional like and well written. After reading the article, my assumption was correct. Good for you because you don’t have to fix a lot of things. Bad for me because it makes my job as a reviewer much harder, but be as critically constructive as much as possible You chose a topic and stuck through it the entire time, without adding something random like or off topic. Too many articles suffer from these two things, but you managed to steer clear of that.
Reading the article also tells me you done extensive amount of research to use for the article. It brings joy to my heart when a fellow Uncyclopedian makes an article on a subject, but takes the time to research that subject rather than just making something up and hope that people will find it funny. And since truth is usually better than nonsense, people can find some interest in this article.
|Prose and Formatting:||7||The tone and writing style of the article is impressive. You stuck with the tone without veering to another tone, unlike most articles I review. These two things make the article look seriously professional. Sadly, I gave you a seven because of spelling errors, but using Spell-check on Microsoft Word can fix these problems with ease (although the word humuor is the British way of saying humor, so don’t worry if spell-check marks it incorrect, just ignore it).|
|Humo(u)r:||7||I actually found the article to be quite entertaining. Although the article can kinda-sorta be considered dry humor, but dry humor can just be funny as any other humor. You also mixed fictional things with non-fictional, yet made them look like they actually happen, ex. “His first project was to teach the Burmese elephants and natives to compose satirical rhyming poetic epigrams.” And obviously, it works out.
I do suggest, however, that you expand the humor some. For example, “His first project was to teach the Burmese elephants and natives to compose satirical rhyming poetic epigrams. It was a failure.” Explain why it was a failure. What happen during the project? What they do wrong? Was it his fault, or was it their fault? Go a little more in-depth on things like that. Another example would be, “Most people felt that it fell a bit short of being an epigram, but it was as witty as it could be under the circumstances.” You can also say that a cult following formed because of it. See where I’m getting at? You got some good jokes; you just need to make some expansion on them. That’s probably the best advice I can give you on the humor section.
|Images:||8||I see some very good images used here and they support you article well. However, the captions of the image that talks about the ties could use a little expanding. Maybe something like,”Try ones that are from (whatever date you want to put in). They’re much more fashionable.” That’s up to you but it’s a great idea.|
|Miscellaneous:||8||My overall grade of this article|
|Final Score:||40||Not bad. You got a solid article here. It just a few things that need to be improved, but a little fix up would hurt. It would be nice to see this on the front page. If you have any questions/comments, just go to my talk page and I’ll be happy to answer them. Good Luck! Cheers!|
|Reviewer:||--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 21:50, June 23, 2010 (UTC)|