I didn't really laugh at all during reading this. I think that's because a little too crazy and random. I think that if it had a little more of a plot to it, it would be funnier. I also think that you went too fast. I felt like I was riding a roller coaster while reading it. Maybe to make it more humorous, you could come up with one big story plot, like the wedding, and add little semi-random details, but ones that still make a little sense. I also think that you're trying too hard to be violent and funny, which just makes it dumb.
There is absolutely no concept to this at all. It's just crazy sounding sentences mashed up into one crazy page.
Prose and formatting:
I don't even know.
A rose and very fake looking blood. Really? And that rose kinda looks like a tulip lol.
Completely crazy! And this can be in a good way too, I just think that you over-did the crazy.
I think that this is a very hard article to write, especially because roses aren't that funny, but I like some of your ideas.