Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Regular K

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edit Regular K

Me and Gerry have been working on this one extremely sporadically for maybe 6 and a half years now but it seems to be at least appropriately long now (according to the Good Rabbi). Criticize at will, give some ideas for expansion or something too if you can.


Ooo! *bounces around* I wanna review this! I wanna review this! I wanna -- *bonks into a cupboard* Owwwwww... agh, if this ain't reviewed by tomorrow, just assume the head trauma was fatal. ~ Lyrithya sig daji Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20100707 - 17:58 (UTC)

Humour: 7 I dunno what to say. This just cracks me up, and I don't think it's just that I'm sleep deprived and haven't eaten an actual meal in three days, but that could be it too... but anyhow. Not the point.

It's ordinary. Mundane. Uninteresting. The fact that this is repeated and reinforced throughout the article without coming off as repetitive is mildly impressive, to say the least. From the fan base to his wife to its utter lack of ingredient variety to the drinking Hot Water with the meal, K's foundation is set.

  • The 'small, mildly enthusiastic fan base' - nice one. Because of course; these people would only be mild.
  • 'Exceptionally bland' - not word choice that could be used just anywhere. ^^
  • Ingredients - Perhaps it's getting too much credit. If the only ingredient is wheat, why include the milk? Perhaps something along the lines of 'wheat product (wheat, wheat gluten, ground wheat)' would work better, as clearly all this is is wheat. And a rubber ball. Can't forget the rubber ball.
  • Vitamin K... oh dear... and the footnote really drives that home.
  • Rice K - Such excitement as success, there should be more panic, really. More anxiety, more sweating. Perhaps the odd attempted suicide... but really failed suicides, because such mundane people would not have the heart to be so adventurous as to actually try something that should succeed, oh no. This is not to say they wouldn't get inventive in a dull sort of way. The section is already funny, mind, but I'm saying it could go really out there. So to speak.

In other news, I have conferred with a health-nut, and she informs me that Regular K is not healthy enough - it's not whole wheat. Perhaps she is onto something with that.

Perhaps not, but it is something to consider. On the other hand, if it was whole wheat, it would definitely have to actually contain nutrients such as protein, fat and various vitamins... although, to get technical, gluten is protein...

Concept: 9 Glorious, methinks. There are many, many mundane cereals out there and many more mundane people who subsist off them, but this rather sums it up nicely as a specific regular version of something literally 'special'.

Perhaps I'm a little prejudiced, though, as my mum tried to make me grow up on this sort of thing.

Prose and formatting: 6 Nice, serious tone, no obvious spelling or grammar mistakes, fairly decent flow... perhaps a few comma splices, but... eh.

Not sure why the diet has its own sub-section.

The problem is, it just sort of ends. It needs something conclusive. Perhaps something bringing it back to the present, the now, or perhaps even just more to the advertising section would sum it up. As it is, the section is just another case of why is it even there?

Images: 5 The images that are there are fairly decent, although the box design kind of bugs me. Why is the cereal so bright for something so mundane? When the rest of the box is entirely grey, the supposedly wheat cereal still resembles the ultra-saturation corn on which this is based... and something this mundane would not need colour enhancements, oh no.

And why is it the 'unseen' grey super-ball? Of course it would be unseen; it's inside. Or am I missing something?

The tea comment in the other one is somewhat amusing, though, as that is essentially all tea is, whether or not people want to think on it. On the other hand, why would people like this even bother to flavour their water?

Oddly, I'm reminded of the new Walmart Great Value packaging. It's kind of similar... begs the question. Were they, perhaps, inspired by Regular K? Could add something about that, perhaps.

Miscellaneous: 7 Whoooo. Random number! Well, quasi-random. Ish. My brain thought it made sense.
Final Score: 34 The numbers don't necessarily mean anything. Hopefully the comments do, but I can't really promise anything there, either. I mean, I hope this helps. Really.

It's spe-eshhhul. Or not.

Reviewer: ~ Lyrithya sig daji Lyrithya *shifty eyes* (words) (actions) -- 20100708 - 16:26 (UTC)
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