Hi, just wondering if this article is funny or not, please tell me if it is too long, needs more content, etc.
Dorkadorkreece 20:37, January 18, 2011 (UTC)
I'm not going to review yours, but I did take a look at it, and I am going to give you the same advice given to me: Be coherent. Plan your storyline beforehand. If the story jumps around and doesn't flow, it won't seem real enough to be a good satire. —Preceding signed comment added by Airhogs777 (talk • contribs • WP) 04:40, January 19, 2011 (UTC)
Can you give me a few examples of articles you consider good? Also, how unrealistic should I be without losing the satire's purpose? For example: in the article, Remy is not a good cook, but a bad cook who uses his food to establish a dictatorship. Is that too much?--Dorkadorkreece 01:45, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
Just look at the intro paragraph. It has nothing to do with the storyline. Maybe you should try something more along the lines of "Ratatouille (pronounced: Rat-tee) is a 2007 Pixar animated film. The storyline revolves around the antagonist, Remy, an evil rat who has plans to take over the world via worldwide induced vomiting..." What I mean is, right from the start, it has to look and feel like a real Wikipedia article, so that it's not random. Have you looked at HTBFANJS? —Preceding signed comment added by Airhogs777 (talk • contribs • WP) 02:23, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
This is my first review, hope I don't do too bad...--Yipyapper 10:45 January 26th, 2011 (UTC)
Although there are some good jokes in here, such as the pronunciations of Ratatouille and the numerous drug-lovers, there isn't any time to have a really good joke in play since there isn't much material in the first place. You also went overboard a little in the "origins" section, because of your frequent use of Remy being a dictator or an overlord (I am pretty sure it's at least 5 times). Overall, not too bad.
The article does have potential to be a good one, since it was created from a popular movie about chefs and rats. There is also a good possibility to put some french jokes in, since they are in Paris. This article can also have some more ideas for quotes.
Prose and formatting:
It does look pretty decent as an article overall. It has the essence that most people see, but it seems like the article is a bit short. There could be more content, perhaps more detailed sub-sections (By the way, you only have origins in the way of a story, you should split up that section into more sections and expand on them) or some sort of "See also" section. It would also be a good idea to put in an Oscar Wilde quote, they make the article look a lot better.
Very nice images for the length of the article. They were at the right place at the right time. The rat one in real life image I thought was perfect. My only complaint is that there isn't many images for a normal article, so a good idea would be to place more images in once you expand the article (If you even listen to me, that it).
The part at the end with WWII was a good idea, albeit too short. The article needs some lengthening, as I've said before many times, and there is room for improvement.
Don't criticize me too much on this review, it's my first one. For the creator, you did an okay job, almost adequate, but if you expand on the articles, add more sub-sections and work on the humour a little more, then this will become adequate.