Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Raisins

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edit Raisins

My article on raisins and it's evil-ness needs to be worked on. Could anyone kindly give suggestions and help me work on it? Cheers Teh Humper 03:45, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

Humour: 2 Oh wow, umm. This is, to be honest, really crappy, and unless changed, will most definitely be deleted. For one, maybe raisins isn't the funniest topic to really satire. But that's for concept. The humor just wasn't there, and this was one of the weaker articles. Check the How to Be Funny and Not Just Stupid thing, that might help. Spartan jokes, and poo, and poems that end in date rape just really are nonsense and turn into stuff that is really boring to read. If you have any hope of redeeming this article, I suggest you change the entire way you present this article.
Concept: 1 This is where you hit it worst. I mean, raisins? there are way funnier things that could be poked fun at. Think more about your topic before you spend time on it to keep the articles you right from falling into chaos. One way to do this is to read many articles of featured material to get a good idea of what good ideas are. Such as, for example, a good few to read would be my personal favorites from last month, Pawnography and Igor. Those might give you a good example of strong articles.
Prose and formatting: 1 Ok maybe I lied, this might be where you hit it worst. You might be really new at this but this is a very messy writing style. First of all, there are no headers, so its just a rambling mass of text, consider fixing that by using headlines. Next, your poem, movie quotes, and lists (although lists are bad ideas), should be formatted differenly to be under each other instead of a paragraph. For example instead of:

Oh raisins, they look like poo. People hate them, i do too. Let's burn them all, spare the grapes, Uhm... raisins cause date rapes?

Put:

Oh raisins, they look like poo.

People hate them, i do too.

Let's burn them all, spare the grapes,

Uhm... raisins cause date rapes?

It is much easier to read this way. Finally, you definitely need to spellcheck this, I think I found a few mistakes.

Images: 5 Im going to be fair here because my computer didn't show these pictures so I will give you the middle of the road. Besides the captions below them did make them seem like they could be pretty funny.
Miscellaneous: 2 Averaged
Final Score: 11 It is pretty bad, I guess if you really wanted to you could fix it up, but I would just recommend leaving it be and starting something fresh! I don't want to seem mean or cruel for giving such a low score, it is just this one is a bit weak. If you want I will gladly help you on your next article if you choose to make one. I am rather new but I do have a firm grasp of it and would love to help out! Please message me on my talk page if you need anything! Good luck!
Reviewer: --Tagstit 04:57, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
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