Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Product Placement
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I'm currently trying to find images for the article and flesh it out a bit more, Any help on that front would be great. Killer Magikarp 15:32, October 28, 2009 (UTC)
|Mind you, this tree is taken!|
Pee Review In Progress
This review is the property of:
|Humour:||6||The humour is not there yet, but the article does have plenty of potential. Jokes are a tad too obvious, but the mention of weather patterns being affected by product placement gave off a few good chuckles. Sometimes it is a good thing, other times, you could attempt making the jokes more subtle. I could expect for the "samples" of product placement in your future pictures to be more obvious product placement, while the text appears to be entirely serious, dry and encyclopaedic and just all the links are commercial products. Or then the other way around (see my comment about pictures, and you get a better idea...)|
|Concept:||7.5||There is major potential here. Product placement is one of those things you can not escape in a modern society unless you live in a cave. Since you already mentioned cavemen and Marlowe, you could consider expanding on something in the way of "a brief history of product placement". Maybe also write about the Renaissance, and Early Industrial Era... The Victorian Era with its already ridiculous medical invention advertisements could very well allow you to crank out some quality humour.|
|Prose and formatting:||5||The prose is currently not of encyclopaedic level. The writing style is what my English professor would refer to as "baby language". The spelling is decent, but the grammar and overall tone and style are haphazard, giving off the impression that you were just jotting down the good ideas before you forgot them. That's a good way to go about it.
Consider rewriting the article in a slightly more academic style... "Product placement is when advertisements are discreetly inserted into places like movies, TV shows, music, news programs, video games, websites, books, clothing, furniture, paintings, weather patterns, school courses, and Congressional hearings." would probably look better as... "Product placement is the discreet placement of advertisements or products for promotional purposes into media such as movies, TV shows, music, news programs, video games, websites, books, clothing, furniture, paintings, weather patterns, school courses, and Congressional hearings." Sure, it's not the perfect sentence, but on the other hand, turns out more neutral, in the encyclopaedic tone some of us strive to attain. That is how the humour - even subtle such manages to sneak up on you. You don't expect absurdities such as weather patterns or congressional hearings.
As comes to the formatting, I admit that the article is still a work in progress, but you should try to flesh out the sections of the text a bit. Think also about adding references to the article. They can be entirely made up as well. Try to avoid one-line paragraphs, as it looks mostly silly, half-finished and slightly amateur-ish.
|Images:||0||You said so yourself, you still don't have images yet, so I can't give you a decent score in this, hence, I refrain from it entirely. You might want to find images or request for a picture to be made for you that'd suit your idea of product placement. The template that to my best guess emulates a pop-up window is a bit misplaced at the moment. I'd consider asking for help from other users, there's a way of making it "float" over the article, if I'm not entirely mistaken. Some people use that as a "status message" box on their user page.
|Miscellaneous:||4.6||Overall promising article. Don't feel too overwhelmed by the score, you're still working on the article, and you'll be able to improve on it. Once you have a bit more text and the flow of the narration is more fluent, don't hesitate to remove the construction tag. I suspect it won't be going anywhere. If you however can't get an article to a viable state within the week the construction template is valid, just move it to your user space by making an article's tag look like User:<insert name here>/<name of article>. That's why the majority of authors on this wiki start off in their user space. :)|
|Final Score:||23.1||Keep up the good work. And a friendly reminder, when you feel like the article's "finished", resubmit it for a review, and if the score averages to 38-ish or more, you might chance getting it voted for feature on the front page.|
|Reviewer:||-- DameViktoria 19:17, 29 Oct|